


Rejects

by jjscm



Category: Dublin Murder Squad Series - Tana French, Dublin Murders (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-28
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:22:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 101
Words: 24,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21593767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jjscm/pseuds/jjscm
Summary: Random snippets and drabbles, some AU. Mainly TV version, but some chapters fit with the books.
Comments: 404
Kudos: 33





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on a deleted scene described by Caoimhe O'Malley, which sounded hilarious!

Rob can hear the moaning as soon as he enters the flat. Following the noises, he finds Heather on the kitchen table, underneath a younger man with a shit haircut.

”Don’t mind me,” says Rob as Heather sees him.

”Who the fuck’s this?” pants the man, pulling back from her.

”Oh, just my housemate. He’s a wanker, ignore him,” Heather advises. “You’re grand, carry on.”

He does, a bit reluctantly, as Rob heads over to the bread bin and starts preparing a sandwich.

”Do we have any cheese?” he asks over Heather’s moans, opening the fridge.

”Sorry, I can’t do this with him here.” The man jumps off Heather and pulls his trousers up, leaving Heather sprawled on the table.

”Sorry I spoiled the mood,” Rob calls after him as he legs it. Heather sits up and pulls her skirt down, giving Rob a look of triumph.

”I’m sure I mentioned that I would be back.” Rob takes a bite of bread. “Was that display meant for my benefit?”

”I’m allowed to have friends back.” She tosses her hair. “Where’s your little friend anyway, Cassie? Haven’t seen her round here lately.”

Rob glares at her and retires to his room.


	2. Chapter 2

Cassie is walking to her car when she thinks she sees one of Johnstone’s associates standing outside a pub. At first she thinks she might be mistaken, until he looks straight at her and draws a finger across his throat, just like on that night. Her blood runs cold.

She runs to her car, half expecting for Johnstone himself to appear. She can still see him standing in front of her that night, feel the blade between her ribs and the shock as he pulled it out.

She locks herself in her car and sits trembling at the wheel, sliding down so no one can see her through the window.

When she feels like she can speak, she reaches for her phone and calls the first person she thinks of.


	3. Chapter 3

“I still think you should go round the back,” says Rob, looking at Cassie’s small bump.

”You’re not going out there on your own,” says Cassie firmly. Rob nods slowly, then smiles and takes her hand.

”Let’s do this.”

They step outside the doors of the courthouse and are immediately swarmed by a horde of journalists, all with cameras, shouting in their faces. Rob holds Cassie’s hand tightly and steers her through the crowd.

_Where are Peter and Jamie, Adam? Have you lost your job, Adam? Is this your girlfriend, Adam? Did you kill Peter and Jamie, Adam?_

They manage to get to the car unscathed and jump in, the press still banging on the windows. Rob drives off quickly, not bothering to avoid the journalists in front of the car, who have to jump out of the way.

He takes a longer route than necessary in case they are still being followed, finally pulling up outside Cassie’s house.

”Actually, I think that went quite well,” he says. They look at each other and both burst out laughing at the same time.


	4. Chapter 4

“Peter? Jamie?” Adam turns around in the woods. Tears are running down his face. He thinks he sees someone watching him from behind a tree. He stumbles backwards, nearly tripping over his own feet, then hears laughter as his friends come out from behind a nearby bush.

”Aw, did you get lost?” Peter mocks.

”Such a crybaby,” adds Jamie.

”I’m not crying.” Adam wipes the tears away quickly. “I thought I saw someone, behind that tree.” He points as a distraction.

”There’s no one there,” Jamie confirms after looking.

”There was.”

”Poor little Adam,” says Peter. “Time to go home to your mammy.”

Adam sniffs as Peter and Jamie run off again. He goes home where his mother is furious to see that he’s been crying again and says he can’t play with the other two anymore. Adam has to beg to still be allowed out with his friends and he forgets all about the man he thought he saw.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Missing scene from episode eight.

“Adam Reilly,” says Quigley as he, Sam and Phelan stand by the front desk. “How did we not put it together? We’re meant to be fucking detectives.”

”Plenty of Reillys in Dublin,” says Sam quietly. “Hiding in plain sight.”

”I always wondered what happened to that poor little kid,” says Phelan reflectively.

”Yeah, it would fuck you up, wouldn’t it, something like that?” Quigley sighs. “Poor Rob.”

Rob comes out of O’Kelly’s office just in time to hear the last part. His face is a mask.

”O’Kelly says I’m to stay here,” he says abruptly. “Rosalind’s solicitor may have already tipped off the press.”

“OK,” says Sam. “Come to the canteen.”

Rob shakes his head. “I’ll be down in Records. I’m not fired yet,” he adds irritably, seeing the others exchange glances.

”Rob?” Cassie enters quietly from the corridor leading to the cells. He approaches her and for a moment they’re the only two people in the room.

“I’m sorry,” she says. “I tried to stop the interview—“

”I know.”

”Rosalind wants to see you.” Cassie shrugs. “Probably just more mind games...”

”I’ll hear what she has to say.”

”I’ll go with you,” Quigley offers. “Phelan, you come too.”

They head for the cells, leaving Cassie alone with Sam.

”How long have you known?” he asks quietly.

”A while.” She looks down. “Since before I met you.”

He nods. His next question takes her by surprise. “Do you love him?”

”Which answer will make you feel better?” she asks.

He shrugs. “Probably ‘No Sam, I love you’.”

”Sam...”

”It’s okay.” He starts to walk away.

”I’m pregnant,” she blurts out. “It’s not yours,” she adds before he can get a flash of hope. He looks at her and then leaves her alone by the desk.


	6. Chapter 6

“Rob, this is Sam.” Cassie feels strangely nervous about introducing her best friend to her boyfriend. “Sam, Rob.”

She watches them shake hands. “I’ve heard a lot about you,” comments Sam.

”You too,” says Rob politely. “You’re in General, right?”

”Yeah. Met Cassie on a case.” He smiles at Cassie, who excuses herself to go to the bar as the boys start talking about work.

”You never said Rob was English,” Sam comments later, as they’re walking from the pub to the car.

Cassie looks at him in surprise. “Does it matter?”

”No. He’s just... not what I expected.”

”You mean he’s a posh twat?”

Sam laughs and relaxes. “Yeah.”

”Rob’s alright. He’s always had my back.” Cassie doesn’t know why she’s feeling defensive. “And anyway, his family are from Dublin originally—“ She stops before she can give too much away.

”I’m sure he’s alright.” Sam shrugs. “He probably thinks I’m a culchie twat.”

”He’s got you spot on then.” Cassie strokes his hair.

The next day she can’t resist asking Rob, “What did you think of Sam?”

”He seemed nice,” says Rob, unusually polite. “I’m seething with jealousy, of course,” he adds. She swats him.


	7. Chapter 7

When Daniel kisses her she’s not sure how to react, how Lexie would react. The drink is blurring her senses and in that moment her only instinct is to pretend that it’s Rob she’s kissing. She flashes back to the side of the road, Rob’s hands in her hair, clinging to each other until she pulled back and whispered “Take me home”. She responds passionately to Daniel, and the whole time it’s Rob’s lips, Rob’s hands, Rob’s body.

Then Daniel grabs her by the throat and the illusion is broken. “Who the fuck are you?” he hisses.

She can see the four of them standing over her as she loses consciousness, her hand instinctively moving down to her stomach.


	8. Chapter 8

Rob is drinking alone at the bar when he sees her across the room. Even after all this time, he would know that smile anywhere. He slowly puts his glass down before he can drop it.

He’s dreamed of this moment so many times but now it’s here he can barely move. He watches her, too stunned to react. He has so many things to say but his mind has gone blank.

She starts to move in the opposite direction and he panics, thinking she might slip away from him. “Wait,” he says, although no one can hear him over the music. He moves towards her, following the familiar black hair, pushing his way through the crowd. His shoulder is hurting him but he ignores it. “Wait!”

She’s heading for the toilets. He follows her out to where it’s quieter and grabs her arm, swaying slightly. “Jamie?”

She looks at him with a mixture of confusion and fear and he realises that he’s got it wrong. The eyes are the wrong colour, for one thing.

”Sorry,” he says, releasing her arm and stumbling back. “I thought you were someone else.”


	9. Chapter 9

”Please state your full name for the record.”

“Detective Garda Adam Robert Reilly,” he states clearly, keeping his eyes on the jury and not on Rosalind.

”Please read the affirmation.”

He reads off the card: “I do solemnly, sincerely and truly declare and affirm that the evidence I shall give shall be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.”

”Detective Reilly, you were the leading officer on this case, is that correct?”

“Yes.”

”Yet you no longer work for Murder. Can you explain why?”

He explains his history, making sure to tug on the jury’s heartstrings. He looks suitably ashamed when describing his demotion, and his regret at not disclosing his connection to the case sooner.

”Did any of the other officers involved in the investigation know your true identity?”

”No,” he says firmly, not too quickly or too slowly.

”Please tell us how you came to arrest the defendant.”

Now on safer ground, he describes his role in the case, sticking to the truth as closely as possible, leaving out irrelevant details like Shane. He’s humble and admits to making mistakes, including being taken in by the defendant. The jury is on his side, he can feel it.

”Thank you for your candour, Detective.” The prosecution sits down. Rob keeps his face neutral but feels a tiny thrill as the defence lawyer stands, ready to rip his evidence to shreds. God, he’s missed this.


	10. Chapter 10

The two girls, Grace and Cassandra, are identical in appearance, but otherwise as different as it’s possible to be. Cassie is as good as gold. Gracie is wild and uncontrollable. Their mother’s pregnancy was a scandal and the orphanage is the only home they’ve ever known. Whenever prospective adoptive parents come to see them, Gracie throws a massive tantrum, screaming, kicking and biting, while Cassie watches silently with her thumb in her mouth.

Eventually the decision is reached that the girls will have to be separated. Cassie is the ideal child for adoption, while Gracie needs foster parents with experience of caring for difficult children.

For the first few months in her new home, Cassie continually asks, “Where’s Gracie? Where’s Gracie?” until her new mother has had enough.

”There’s no Gracie,” she snaps. “There’s only you.”

This confuses Cassie, but she begins to adjust to her own company and she loves her new parents. The three of them are very close, always singing along together to whatever’s on the radio, and she forgets all about her twin, until the night her parents’ car comes crashing off the road.


	11. Chapter 11

Rob is down in Records again, looking at the 1985 file. Peter and Jamie’s photographs are laid out, next to his own. His yellow t-shirt lies torn beneath his toothy younger self’s cheeky smile.

He hears footsteps and knows without looking that it’s Cassie. Last time they were down here she told him they wouldn’t see each other again, and the time before that he’d deliberately broken her heart and she’d slapped him harder than even Heather had.

”Time to put these away,” she says softly over his shoulder. “You know what happened now.”

”I still can’t remember it.” He keeps his eyes on Jamie’s face.

“You don’t have to. Just move on.”

”What, knowing that I let my friends get killed? That I survived because I was the only one who didn’t fight back?”

”Rob, there was nothing you could have done.” She sits down beside him. “And I’m glad you survived. I can’t tell you...” She breaks off, biting her lip.

”I’m sorry,” he says. “For everything.”

”Yeah, me too.” She squeezes his hand.

They sit in silence until she gets up and starts walking towards the stairs. He watches her and realises he can’t let her walk out of here for a third time. Even if it means he has to beg.

”Cassie—“ He manages to choke her name out. “Stay, please?”

She shakes her head. “Come back to my place instead. I’ve got whisky.”

He stares at her, making sure she means it, then gets up and puts the old records away before following her upstairs.


	12. Chapter 12

“You’re on the front page again,” announces one of Rob’s colleagues, throwing a tabloid down on his desk and walking away. Rob stares after him. He’d thought the fuss over his identity had died down. Of course, there had been much excitement amongst the media at first. His successfully catching Katy Devlin’s killer had been reduced to a footnote in the main story.

He unfolds the paper and sees Heather posing soulfully in black and white, next to the headline, “My Passion with the Knocknaree Survivor”.

”Oh, for fuck’s sake,” he says out loud, getting a glare from a neighbouring desk in response. He folds the paper again and chucks it in the nearest waste paper basket, hoping that his mother won’t see it. He has no desire to read Heather’s account of his tortured personality and sexual prowess.  
  
A few of his other colleagues are whispering and throwing interested looks in his direction. He ignores them and goes back to work.


	13. Chapter 13

A couple of months after her aunt’s death, Rob helps Cassie move into her new home, paid for with her inheritance. It feels a bit like blood money, but knowing that she would give it up in an instant to have her only relative back lessens the guilt.

”This place is amazing,” says Rob, looking around at the airy rooms. “Not looking for a lodger, are you?”

”Sorry, it’s one bedroom.” She puts the last of the boxes down. “But here...” She picks up a pair of keys and hands them to him.

”What’s this?”

”Spare keys. Front and back. You may as well have them, in case of emergencies.”

He squeezes her shoulder. “Come on, time to celebrate.”

She gets a couple of mugs out of one of the boxes and they drink the flash champagne that Rob brought, outside in the bright sunlight.


	14. Chapter 14

Adam watches as Peter easily jumps over the ditch, landing with a hoot. “Come on, you two!”

Jamie follows him, her long legs effortlessly making the jump. “Come on, Adam!”

Adam hesitates, bracing himself. He sees the other two exchanging amused glances and squares his shoulders, determined to prove himself.

He jumps but doesn’t quite make it, crashing down to the gravel below. “Ow!” He grabs at his shoulder, which feels out of place and wrong. Tears well in his eyes.

”You’re such a girl, Adam.” Jamie reaches for his hand.

”I think it’s broken.” Adam manages to stand, still grasping his shoulder. Even Peter looks worried.

”We’d better take you home.” Jamie puts her arm around Adam.

The shoulder is just dislocated, as it turns out. Adam’s dad takes him to the doctor, who pops it back into place and advises him to rest it. His dad drives them home and they agree it’s best not to mention it to his mother.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluffy double drabble (200 words).

For the second time in his life, Rob wakes up to find Cassie wrapped in his arms in her bed. He watches her sleep, afraid to breathe too loudly in case he wakes her.

Finally she shifts and her eyes open. “Hi,” she mumbles sleepily.

“Hi.” He strokes her cheek.

“You’re still here,” she observes.

“Still here,” he confirms, kissing her head. “Did you sleep okay?”

”Not really.” He knows she still sees Daniel whenever she shuts her eyes. “But I’m glad you were here.”

”Me too.” He kisses her forehead again.

They lie in silence as sunlight starts to stream through her window.

”We should go and see Mum later,” he says eventually. “We can tell her about the baby. She’ll be thrilled.”

”It’s a bit soon.” She pulls herself up to look at him. “Anything could still go wrong...”

”I know.” He pauses. “We can wait. I just think she could use some good news right now...”

”Fine, we can tell her,” she concedes. “But nobody else can know.”

”Scout’s honour.” He crosses his chest.

She snuggles closer to him. “I love you, Rob.”

He smiles tenderly. “I love you more.”

”Competitive bastard.” She punches his arm lightly.


	16. Chapter 16

Cassie is still crying when Rob leans down and brushes his lips against hers. The kiss only lasts a few seconds, then she jumps back, shocked. They look at each other and for a moment it could go either way.

Rob breaks the tension by laughing. “Sorry. Something about crying girls. Force of habit. Sorry.”

She laughs too, feeling a mixture of relief and disappointment. “Was that meant to cheer me up?”

“Worth a shot.” He pats her briefly on the shoulder. “Come on, let’s get you home.”

“No funny business in the car, alright?” She follows him.

“I promise.”


	17. Chapter 17

Cassie is sitting smiling with her colleagues, celebrating a good result, when she hears the familiar strains of “Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick”. Her smile fades and she puts her drink down, feeling the irrational twist in her chest.

”You OK?” says Rob, frowning at her.

”Yeah.” She stands up abruptly, pushing her chair back. “Excuse me a minute.”

”Probably her time of the month,” she hears Quigley comment as she heads for the door.

Outside, she stands where she can’t hear the jukebox and lights a cigarette. She’s puffing on it when Rob comes out to join her.

“Got a light?” he asks her. She lights his cigarette for him and they stand watching the other drinkers.

”It was the song,” she says finally, although he hasn’t asked. “It was playing the night of the crash.”

”Oh. Shit.” He looks sympathetic.

”I know it’s stupid.” She blows out smoke. “It’s just a song.”

”I understand.” He nods. “Do you want to be alone?”

”Nah. You can stay.”

They finish their smokes in companionable silence, until five minutes have elapsed and it should be safe to go back in.

”Another drink?” he asks her.

”If you’re buying.” She follows him back inside to the bar, just as “99 Red Balloons” starts playing.


	18. Chapter 18

Heather arrives home to find Rob and Cassie sitting in the lounge, files laid out across the coffee table.

”Oh, hi,” says Cassie. “You must be Heather.”

”This is Detective Maddox,” Rob introduces his colleague to his landlady. “We’re just working.”

”Cassie,” Cassie introduces herself cheerfully.

Heather nods. “What are you working on?”

”You know I can’t talk about my cases,” says Rob.

”Maybe don’t have the evidence all over my living room then,” she snaps, looking at a grisly photo.

”Sorry,” Cassie covers the photo with a file. “We’re nearly finished.”

”No, it’s okay,” Heather concedes. “I’ll be in my room.”

”Nice to meet you,” Cassie calls after her.

”You too.” Heather glares at Rob, then goes to her room and shuts the door hard.

”She seemed pissed off with you,” Cassie comments. Rob shrugs evasively and she gets it. “Oh, you didn’t. With your landlady?”

“She had no complaints,” he defends himself.

”I’m guessing you didn’t pledge your undying love afterwards.” She rolls her eyes.

”How was I to know she was a bunny boiler?”

”That’s what men always say about women they dump. What if she chucks you out?”

”Then I’ll arrest her on some trumped up charge.”

”Funny.” Cassie gathers up the files. “I’d better leave you to sort your mess out.”

”Stay for a drink,” he pleads. “She might kill me in my sleep.”

”No more than you deserve.” She slings her bag over her shoulder. “See you.”

After she’s gone, Rob ends up drinking alone until Heather comes out to the kitchen.

”She’s very pretty,” she comments, switching the kettle on.

”I hadn’t noticed.”

”You haven’t sweet-talked her into bed yet, then?”

”It’s on my to-do list.”

”She’s probably too smart to fall for that.” Heather comes to stand in front of the sofa.

”Don’t put yourself down.” He reaches for her waist, pulling her onto his lap.

“You’re such an arsehole,” she says, but she closes her eyes.


	19. Chapter 19

“Take me home,” she whispers. Her tone makes it clear that she doesn’t just mean she wants a lift back. He nods wordlessly, then they turn and head back to the car. They get in and he glances at her briefly before starting the engine.

The journey is mostly silent, occasionally shooting glances at each other. The atmosphere feels charged and almost fragile, like at any minute one of them might laugh and say _Jeez, what were we thinking back there?_ but neither of them do.

”Are you okay?” he asks as they approach her home.

”Yeah,” she says, keeping her eyes straight ahead. He pulls up outside her flat.

They get out and he locks the car with a flick of his keys as they start walking to her front door, still exchanging the occasional glance. She unlocks the door, fumbling the keys slightly, and lets him in.

Once inside she turns a light on and takes her coat off while he remains standing by the door. “I can just go, if you want.”

Almost before he’s finished speaking, she moves towards him and they’re kissing again, just as passionately as they did at the side of the road. He pulls back to look at her and they smile at each other, decision made, before she pulls him into the bedroom.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on an anecdote Rob narrates in the book “In the Woods”.

One night, while lying in bed with Cassie, Rob decides to share his most embarrassing story.

“My first year at boarding school, I told everyone I had a twin brother called Peter, who went to a different school in Ireland. Non-identical, of course. I showed everyone a photo of the two of us. It’s a good thing I didn’t have a photo of Jamie, or I’d probably have made us triplets.” Cassie smiles and snuggles closer to him.

“The next term I realised I couldn’t keep up the pretence forever and stopped talking about him. When someone asked, I said he’d died in an accident during the school holidays. I’m sure it got back to the teachers, and my parents, but no one said anything to me.” He’s felt mortified about this for years, about the secret, concerned meetings that must have occurred behind his back, but saying it out loud to Cassie, it doesn’t sound so bad. It’s quite funny, really.

She’s silent for a moment and then says, “Freak,” with great affection.

”Your turn.” He kisses her temple.

”My aunt got the priest in once, because I kept talking about Lexie. Think she thought I might be possessed.” He laughs softly. “While they were downstairs I ripped all the wallpaper off in my room and said Lexie did it.”

”Oh, come on. I killed my imaginary twin. You’ll have to do better than that.”


	21. Chapter 21

“You left me a message, saying you wanted to tell me something. What was it?”

He hesitates. “Can we talk somewhere private?”

She nods and they step into an interview room. He shuts the door behind them.

”I’m sorry,” he says, rubbing his head. “I should have talked you out of going undercover. It’s my fault, what’s happened.”

”It was my decision to go in that house.”

”But I pushed you into it.” He looks miserable, which makes her soften towards him. “I didn’t mean any of it...”

”It doesn’t matter now.” She doesn’t want to talk about what happened between them.

”Just tell me what I can do to start making things better.”

”Rob, I killed a man.” She shrugs helplessly. “Nothing can make that better, ever.”

He reaches out to her and she flinches, stepping away. He keeps his eyes on hers and tries again, stepping up to her and putting his hands on her shoulders. She lets him put his arms around her and rests her head against his shoulder, too devastated to cry.

The door opens and O’Kelly sticks his head in.

”What the feck are you two doing? We’ve got a murderer waiting to confess.”

”I’m coming now.” Cassie steps away from Rob. O’Kelly makes an impatient noise and strides away, muttering something about this being a place of work and not an orgy.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Highly angsty AU. Was meant to be a drabble but overran.

Rob is drinking heavily when Cassie appears to him. Her hair is up in a bun, for reasons only his subconscious knows.

”You should probably stop that,” she says, nodding at the bottle. “And you didn’t have to be such a prick to Sam, by the way.”

He keeps his eyes fixed on the glass. “Go away.”

”You’re still pissed off at me?” she asks. When he doesn’t answer, she sighs. “Rob...”

“You promised you wouldn’t leave me.” He can hear his Dublin accent creeping back in as his voice rises.

“I didn’t die on purpose.”

”You got in the way of the bullet.”

“I saved your life, you ungrateful arsehole.”

He finally looks at her. “Fuck you, Cassie.”

She stops talking to him after that.


	23. Chapter 23

They stumble into Cassie’s bedroom, still kissing, Cassie groping at Rob’s clothes in the dark. She pushes his jacket off, draping it somewhere, then pulls at his tie to loosen it before lifting it over his head. He immediately resumes kissing her. Once she’s kicked her shoes off, she has to stand on tiptoes to reach him. She can feel his smirk without seeing it and then he picks her up and carries her to the bed. She turns on the bedside lamp as he sits and begins the unsexy process of pulling his shoes and socks off. She giggles as she pulls her socks off too and stands up to undo her trousers, stepping out of them in an exaggerated striptease. He smiles and pulls her close to him. She starts to unbutton his shirt, feeling his taut shoulders.

They’re interrupted by a knock on the front door. “Who is that?” Rob groans, his face against Cassie’s neck.

”I’ll get rid of them.” Cassie pulls her clothes back on and leaves Rob sitting on her bed, putting a finger to her lips.

She opens the door to find Frank there. He raises his eyebrows at Cassie’s disheveled appearance. “I was just getting ready for bed,” she says. “And don’t you usually break in?”

”I was just passing,” he says cheerfully. “Thought I’d see if you’d changed your mind about being Lexie.”

”I haven’t.” She folds her arms.

“Well, here’s a copy of the file if you do.” He hands her a small stack of papers, the close-up of Lexie’s face arranged on top.

”I’d invite you in, but I’m busy.”

”Give Sammy boy my best.” He turns and walks away, leaving Cassie holding the file.

By the time she returns to her room, Rob has buttoned his shirt up and is putting his shoes back on. He looks at Cassie with an unreadable expression. “Saved by the bell.”

”Yeah.” She glances at the photo of her and Sam in the corner, suddenly feeling guilty.

”I should go.” He stands.

”No, stay. Crash on the sofa...”

”OK.” He nods, looking somewhat relieved that their friendship isn’t ruined. He pecks her on the head as he passes. “Night, Cass.”

”Night.”


	24. Chapter 24

After being carried out of the nightclub, Rob ends up staggering around on the streets until he gets picked up by a Garda car and taken to a nearby station where he’s thrown in the cells to sober up. His shoulder is still killing him. Last time he went to a physiotherapist he was told that it was psychological, an old injury playing up in times of distress. He’d nodded along and hadn’t bothered to go back for the follow-up appointment.

He must drift into sleep at some point, despite the noise from the surrounding cells, because he awakens suddenly, scared and uncertain, in an uncomfortable position. It reminds him of those nights at school when he would wake up, screaming and crying at some unknown terror, sometimes having wet the bed. He’s grateful that he hasn’t pissed himself, at least.

He’s still a bit drunk from the night before, but he manages to gather his wits, enough to bang on the door and show his ID from his pocket. He sees the _Oh shit_ look on the young Garda’s face when he realises he’s locked up one of his own, but it’s not like Rob is going to tell anyone about this. He can just picture O’Kelly’s face.

Released quickly and sent on his way, he arrives home as dawn is breaking and finds all his belongings on the doorstep, with a note attached in Heather’s familiar handwriting, like one of her fridge notes except this one just says “FUCK OFF, ROB”. He takes this as a clear indication that he’s not welcome there and so he throws the bags in his car and drives to his mother’s.


	25. Chapter 25

Cassie and Clare hit it off straight away. Rob can see his mother approves of his friend, and as soon as they’re alone together Clare says predictably, “I like her.”

”She’s just a friend, Mum.” He’d expected the matchmaking, after all this was the first time he’d introduced a woman to his family.

Clare’s next comment, however, takes him by surprise: “She looks like Jamie.” Not only has he not considered the resemblance, Clare hardly ever mentions his old friends, except to express bitterness at Jamie’s mother for driving the Reillys out of Dublin.

Now that Clare mentions it, he can see that Cassie has Jamie’s dark hair and eyes, and a tomboyish personality like Jamie. Cassie has a unique charm of her own, though. He thinks it’s a shame that they didn’t know her back then, she wasn’t that far from Knocknaree. When he’d said this to Cassie she’d pointed out that she was only 10 in 1985 and wouldn’t have been part of their gang. It’s strange to him, that Cassie is younger than Jamie and Peter, forever frozen at 13.

He shrugs. “They look nothing alike.”


	26. Chapter 26

“This is for you.”

Cassie reaches out for the small box that Johnstone presses into her hands. For an insane moment she thinks it might be an engagement ring, but when she opens the box, it’s a pair of diamond earrings.

”They’re beautiful,” she says, in her best awed voice.

”Put them on for me,” he instructs. It’s an order, not a request. She carefully feels for the holes in her earlobes and slips the diamonds in.

”They look good on you, Lexie,” he says and something in his voice makes her look up, at his expression. He likes her, she realises. _Really_ likes her. She almost feels guilty for a second, then she remembers who Johnstone is, what he does.

”Don’t take them off until I tell you to,” he says. He puts his hand on her knee and runs it up her thigh. She closes her eyes and thinks of the moment when she’ll be able to arrest him.


	27. Chapter 27

Rob clutches Cassie’s phone to his chest as he sits alone on her bed. He tries to hold on to the memory of the last time he was here, in this room, when everything was peaceful and perfect for once. It keeps slipping away from him, though, and all he can see is Cassie’s face calling him a coward. He deletes the message he left on Cassie’s voicemail and calls her number from his own phone again.

“Cassie, it’s me,” he begins, the tears still evident in his voice. “Cass, I’m sorry. I love you. Please, come back to me. I need you.”

He listens to this new message on Cassie’s phone. It sounds just as pathetic as he expected. Deleted.

He calls her a third time and this time he takes a deep breath before speaking. “Cassie, it’s Rob. Come back, Cass. I want to tell you something.”

That doesn’t sound too bad. He puts Cassie’s phone back where he found it before he can change his mind again and pockets his own mobile, taking one last look around the bedroom. He remembers Cassie’s request just before he leaves the apartment and places his spare keys on the coffee table.


	28. Chapter 28

Adam clings to the tree as the wind blows around him. He can hear screaming, and knows it’s coming from him, but he can’t seem to stop.

The images of the last few hours are swirling in his mind — Sandra being held down by those boys, their underpants around their ankles. Peter and Jamie laughing and running off. Being chased by the older boys. The terrible scene he had come across, Jamie being held down like Sandra, Peter screaming at him to _get the knife, Adam_. His friends’ dead faces. The voice of the man in his ear as he had forced Adam against the tree, wrenching his shoulder as he slashed at the cloth against his back. _If you tell anyone, I’ll come back and kill you. Your Mammy and Daddy too._

He doesn’t know how long he’s been here. Time has ceased to exist and nothing makes sense. He remembers taking his shoes off, his feet were sore from running in his new trainers, but when had he put them back on?

He becomes aware of a new voice, one of the older boys, saying _little boy! Little boy!_ and then one of the others, telling his friend to leave Adam and get out of here.

There are more footsteps, the light of torches in the distance, cries of _Peter? Adam? Jamie?_ and then, inexplicably, a wolf, like something out of one of his dad’s fairytales, howling at Adam’s feet, come to finish him off. Someone shines a torch on the wolf and he sees that it’s a Garda dog, come to find him and his friends, but no less terrifying for its good intentions.

He has to be persuaded to let go of the tree. He knows that if he lets go time will start moving again and all this will somehow be real. He’s taken to hospital and doesn’t stop screaming until someone puts a needle in his arm to sedate him.

When he wakes up, his parents are at his bedside, pale and asking about Peter and Jamie, and all Adam remembers is the wolf.


	29. Chapter 29

Rob feels worse than ever after returning Cassie’s spare keys. He can’t even retrieve the message he left on Cassie’s phone now.

When he lets himself into Heather’s flat, his landlady is sprawled on the sofa, waiting for her toenails to dry.

”Back, are you?” she comments pointlessly. She sits up, seeing the mud on his suit from where he was holding onto the tree. “What have you been doing?”

”Nothing. Work stuff.”

She shrugs and lays back down. He approaches her and bends down, putting a hand on her knee.

”What do you think you’re doing?” she asks, moving away.

”I’ve had a really bad day,” he says, by way of an explanation.

She stares at him. “You can’t just pick me up and drop me whenever you feel like it, you know.”

”Come on.” He takes her hand and pulls her to her feet. “Bed.”

She lets him lead her into the bedroom. He wants to forget all about Cassie, Sandra and what he witnessed in the woods. He closes his eyes but can still hear Peter and Jamie calling him.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slightly festive AU.

Adam is walking down his old road, close to Christmas time, when he hears a familiar voice.

”Adam!” Peter claps him on the back. Adam is now taller than he is. “How’s it going?”

”Good.” Adam shakes his old friend’s hand. “Just visiting my Mam.”

”Me too.” Peter looks over at his old house on the estate. “We should go for a drink in the new year.”

”Definitely,” says Adam politely, although they say this every time they bump into each other. “How’s the family?”

”They’re all good. How’s — Cathy, is it?”

”Cassie. Yeah, she’s grand.”

They chat about old times and something makes Adam ask, “Hey, do you ever hear from Jamie?”

”Nah. She married an Australian. Lives on the other side of the world.”

Adam nods. “Well, good to see you.”

They part ways at the end of the estate and Adam has forgotten the conversation by the time he gets home.


	31. Chapter 31

He agrees to meet Alicia in the same spot where he met Jonathan Devlin. Next to what used to be the woods and is now the motorway. They sit in the newly built cafe and he refrains from lighting a cigarette out of respect, even though he’s craving one desperately.

She looks carefully at his face, taking in every detail. “I always thought I would recognise you, if I saw you,” she says at last. “But I didn’t.”

”I’m sorry I lied to you,” he manages to say. “I couldn’t tell you who I really was, last time I saw you...”

”You told me Adam was dead.”

 _He is_ , he thinks, but saying so would sound terribly melodramatic. “I know. I’m sorry. I lost my job, for not disclosing what happened to me. To us.”

”Where is Jamie?”

”I don’t know.”

”Liar!” She raises a hand as if to hit him.

”If I knew, I would tell you.” He’s pleading with her. “But I don’t remember.”

”You did something to them. To Jamie and Peter. You were jealous of them...”

”I wasn’t jealous.” He stops. He had promised himself that he would be completely honest with Jamie’s mother and he’s not sure if that’s true. “But I did want to be like them.”

”You were never as good as my Jamie.” She’s getting into her stride now. “What sort of boy goes home crying to his stuck-up mammy because a girl outran him?”

”We were just kids, Ms Rowan.” He tries to remember if he ever called her that as a child, but all he recalls is standing shyly behind Peter while Jamie asked if they could stay for tea. “We should never have been in those woods...”

”Are you blaming me?” Her eyes widen furiously.

”No!” He’s getting this all wrong, his old smoothness when dealing with witnesses has slipped away from him completely. “I think about Jamie every day. Peter too.”

”You got to grow up,” she cries. “You can get married, have kids of your own—“

”I can’t do any of that.”

”You think you’ve suffered? I’ve been in hell for the last 21 years.”

”I know.” There are tears behind his eyes, and there’s nothing more he can say.

”You’re a liar, Adam Reilly.” She stands up, her voice carrying across the cafe. “And one day you’ll pay for what you did.”

He lets her go, watching through the window as she drives away. He waits until she’s out of sight before finally lighting a cigarette.


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Christmas Eve drabble.

It takes several drinks to say what’s on his mind. 

“It was the best night of my life,” he says. She doesn’t have to ask what he’s referring to.

“Mine too,” she says, but there’s an edge to it, like it wasn’t worth what followed.

“I know I messed up,” he blurts. “But can’t we just start over? Pretend we’ve just met?”

She smiles sadly and looks away. “No, I don’t think we can. But just for tonight, I’ll be Lexie.”

“Fine. Then I’ll be Adam.”

“Nice to meet you, Adam.”

They clink glasses and she finally smiles at him.


	33. Chapter 33

_2019_

Rob is an overprotective father. It’s understandable with Lexie, she’s his little girl. He hates her wearing make-up, and Cassie has to convince him that it’s harmless for his daughter to try on her mother’s lipstick.

Peter though, is now 10, and wants to go out to play with his mates. He has Cassie’s black hair and fiery personality and looks nothing like his namesake. Rob flatly refuses to let him go out, and Peter ends up shouting at his father that he _hates_ him and it’s _not fair_.

”You can’t keep them in a bubble, you know,” Cassie says at last to Rob. She knows that she has her own paranoias, she gets very jumpy where they’re all in the car together, for instance.

”Wish my parents had,” says Rob darkly. Finally, he is persuaded to let Peter go with his friends, as long as he keeps his phone with him at all times and calls his mother — he’s still not speaking to Rob — every half hour. When Peter goes off with the other boys, Cassie can see what a wrench it is for her husband, and she hugs him close.

”I hope we won’t fuck them up too much,” she says later, while curled up in Rob’s arms. Lexie is safely in her bedroom, singing “Let It Go” into a hairbrush.

”Isn’t that what parents are for?” Rob says sleepily. Cassie prods him lightly with her foot.


	34. Chapter 34

Adam is back in the familiar room, the one designed to be welcoming for kids. It’s meant for younger children, though. He’s nearly 13 and doesn’t need to play with building blocks while talking about his friends’ disappearances.

His dad is at his side. His mother came with him last time. There are two detectives, but only one of them speaks at first while the other takes notes.

”Thanks for coming in, Adam,” says the detective kindly. “We just wanted to see if you had remembered anything else about Jamie and Peter.”

”No,” says Adam. “I don’t remember.”

”Can you tell me what you do remember from that day?”

”In the morning, I went to the shop with my dad,” says Adam. His dad nods to confirm. “We bought sweets. Then I rode home on my bike. My dad walked with me.” He’s been through this many times.

”Then Peter and Jamie came over, and we went into the woods. We took our bikes.”

”What’s the last thing you remember?” the detective presses.

“Going into the woods.”

”And the next thing after that?”

”Waking up in hospital.”

”The three bikes were found abandoned in the woods,” says the other detective, suddenly leaning forward. “You were found in a different part of the woods, quite a way away. Was that where you normally played?”

”I don’t remember where I was found.” The detectives exchange glances and Adam feels like maybe they were trying to trick him.

”Can you think of anything else from that day?” says the first detective encouragingly. “Anything at all could help.”

Adam thinks. He remembers seeing one of the older boys outside the shop, talking to a girl he didn’t know, but he can’t think how that could be relevant. When he tries to think about what happened in the woods, all he recalls is terror.

”There was a wolf,” he says suddenly.

”A wolf?” repeats the detective. His dad puts his head in his hands.

”It was big,” says Adam, seeing the creature’s eyes as it howled at him. “Maybe the wolf hurt Peter and Jamie.”

”There are no wolves in Ireland, Adam,” his dad interjects.

“Did you and your friends ever argue, Adam?” asks the second detective. “Did you argue on that day?”

”Hold on,” says Adam’s father. “Is my son a suspect?”

”Of course not,” says the first detective soothingly. “We just need to know everything that happened.”

”Peter and Jamie were my best friends,” says Adam. “We never argued.”

The first detective nods. His colleague leans forward again and says, “Why did you say _were_ , Adam? Why not _are_?”

”I’ve had enough of this.” His father stands up. “I’m taking my son home.”

Adam finally cries in the car on the way home, but all his dad says is, “Don’t mention the wolf again.”


	35. Chapter 35

Rob has to return to Murder a few weeks after his disciplinary, to drop off some files. He walks into his old office and the conversation comes to an abrupt halt as people turn to stare at him.

After what feels like five minutes of silence, Sam gets up to greet him. “Rob. How are you?”

”Fine, thanks.” Rob sets the files down on an empty desk. His eyes flick foolishly to Cassie’s desk, although he knows she’s not on the squad anymore either. “You’re on Murder full time now, then?”

”Aye, well Quigley needed a partner.” Sam nods at Quigley, who raises a hand in greeting. “How’s life as a floater?”

They make polite chitchat until O’Kelly comes out of his office to take the files. He seems genuinely pleased to see Rob. (“Larger than life, and twice as feckin’ ugly.”)

As Sam shows Rob out, he says, “You can ask about Cassie, you know.”

Rob stops. “How is she?”

”She’s working DV now. Daniel’s inquest is coming up.” Sam looks like there’s something else he wants to say. “She’s still pretty messed up.”

Rob nods. “Well, tell her...” He has no idea how to finish that sentence.

Sam gets it. “I will.”


	36. Chapter 36

“Adam!” Clare calls up the stairs. “Your friends are here!”

Adam runs down the stairs two at a time. Peter and Jamie are in the hallway, Jamie holding a big white box.

”We made you a cake,” she says proudly as Peter lifts the lid. The cake is yellow, Adam’s favourite colour, with “Happy birthday!!!” in Jamie’s childish writing in white icing.

”Thank you!” says Adam, blushing as Jamie kisses him on the cheek. Peter claps him on the back.

Adam is the last of his friends to turn 12. Peter gives him a framed photo of the two of them on the swing Peter’s dad built them. Jamie gives him a cassette she made with Adam’s favourite songs on.

”Let’s go out on our bikes,” says Peter, once Adam has finished unwrapping his gifts. They cycle into the woods, where they all carve their initials into a tree. The moment seems unremarkable at the time, but later Adam thinks that’s the last time he was really, truly happy.

...

Robert’s 13th birthday goes by almost unnoticed. He speaks to his parents on the phone in the morning. They had offered to come and visit him, but he doesn’t want them to see how isolated he is at school, or the other boys to hear his mam calling him “Adam”. His classmates still call him “Paddy” mostly, although he’s started to modify his accent to sound like them.

That night, he looks at the photo of himself and Peter, and makes a birthday wish. He doesn’t wish for his friends to reappear, he’s given up on that. Instead he wishes to become a detective so he can find out what happened to them. That feels like an achievable dream, and he falls asleep with a new sense of purpose.


	37. Chapter 37

Rob watches the man through the mirror glass. He’s listened to his confession, and it all fits, what he’s saying, but it still doesn’t feel real. He closes his eyes and tries to remember, but all he sees is the flash of a wolf’s fangs.

The door opens and Sam and Quigley enter, both looking warily at Rob as he turns to them. He hates seeing the pity in their eyes, especially Sam’s.

”Ask him about Jamie’s watch,” Rob says abruptly. “It was a Minnie Mouse watch. It turned up during the Devlin investigation. It’s in the files.”

Sam nods. “OK.” He and Quigley exchange looks and head back into the interview room.

Rob walks back up to the glass and stares at the man. He’s so _small_.

The man raises his eyes so he appears to be looking directly at Rob, although he knows he can’t see him. A chill runs through Rob and for a second he thinks he remembers something, then it’s gone again.


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Utterly pointless shower drabble.

Rob is showering when the bathroom door opens and Heather walks in. There’s no shower curtain so he has to grab a towel to preserve his modesty.

“Er, hello? Can I get some privacy here?”

“Nothing I haven’t seen before.” Heather shrugs dismissively, then looks around, picking up her electric toothbrush. “This needs charging.”

“I’m getting a lock put on this door!” He shouts after her. She ignores him. He washes the shampoo out of his hair and uses some of Heather’s best conditioner for good measure. His towel is now wet, so he borrows one of Heather’s pink ones.


	39. Chapter 39

The holiday club is full of kids he doesn’t know. Adam feels slightly overwhelmed as he looks around the crowded hall, but he is still happy to be spending the day with Peter and Jamie. His friends are in the year above him at school and barely acknowledge him there. He has other friends in his own classes, but none like his neighbours, who he sees most school nights and every weekend.

He thinks he catches sight of Jamie’s dark hair while looking around for her and Peter, but when he gets closer he sees it’s a younger girl. She can’t be much older than ten and is holding on to a rag doll.

“Hi,” he says, feeling sorry for the little girl, all on her own and chewing her hair. “What’s your doll called?”

”Lexie,” the little girl whispers, taking her hair out of her mouth.

”Adam!” He turns around at the sound of Peter’s voice and sees him and Jamie approaching. “Come on. Or do you want to play with the little kids?”

“See you,” Adam mutters to the younger girl, and runs off to join his friends.


	40. Chapter 40

“Hello, Reject,” Rosalind greets him as he sits down.

Rob wishes he could smoke in here. “Why did you want to see me?”

”You look tired,” she says, scanning his pale face. “Are the press still hounding you? I heard you were demoted.”

”I’m fine.”

”And how’s Detective Maddox?” she asks. “I was hoping you two could work things out.”

”So you just want to play games.” He stands up.

”Actually, I wanted to talk about Peter and Jamie.”

”What about them?” He remains standing.

”Don’t you want to know what happened to them?”

”Yes, but since you weren’t yet born when they disappeared, I don’t see how you can help me.”

”My parents were.”

He sits down, hating himself for being suckered into this meeting. “Your father already told me everything he knew.”

”It’s my mother you want to talk to.” She looks off into the distance. “I used to hear them arguing about it. She thought he and his friends had something to do with the disappearances.”

”Well, she was wrong.”

”How can you be sure?”

”Because I remember them finding me, and Peter and Jamie were already gone.”

”Poor little Adam.” His skin crawls at the sound of his name in her voice.

“You must be bored in here,” he says. “I don’t suppose your family have been visiting.” He’s pleased to see a flicker of emotion in her cold eyes.

”Tell me,” she says. “When you gave me that phone... when you told me about losing your best friend...” He shifts, ruing his stupidity. “You felt it, didn’t you? The connection between us.”

He shrugs. “Part of my job is getting people to open up to me.”

”But you gave away a little more than you intended.” She smiles, the hardness returning to her eyes.

”You fooled me,” he acknowledges. “I never thought my career would be toppled by a teenage girl.”

”That connection between us was real,” she insists. “We’re the same, Adam.”

He‘s wasting his time here. “We won’t see each other again,” he tells her, getting up.

”Give my love to Killer Cassie,” is her parting shot.

Her words are still ringing in his ears as he returns to his car and drives back to his desk job.


	41. Chapter 41

Rob visits Cassie the night before her wedding. “Don’t worry, I’m not here to persuade you to run away with me,” he says. “I just wanted to give you this.” He holds up a gift with a bow. “It’s a toaster.”

“Thanks.” She puts it with the others.

“I want you to be happy, Cass. More than anything,” he says sincerely.

“Come here.” She hugs him, then watches him leave.

After the wedding, she and Sam open the presents together. “Who’s this from?” Sam asks, holding up a toaster. “There was no name on it.”

Cassie hesitates. “I’m not sure.”


	42. Chapter 42

”You have a lot of books,” Heather comments, watching Rob unpack the last of his boxes.

He smiles and leans against the doorway, facing her. “I was a bit of a loner at school. Spent most of my free time in the library. Old habits and all...”

”So what’s your favourite book?” she asks flirtatiously.

”Honestly?” He picks up a battered hardback and hands it to her.

” _The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe_? Seriously?”

He shrugs. “I always wanted to find that magic wardrobe.”

Heather is part of the reason he chose to move in here, rather than somewhere more spacious. She’s gorgeous and obviously fancied him at their first meeting, where she’d cooed over his accent and occupation. “An English detective. You’re practically Sherlock Holmes,” she said, fluttering her eyelashes. He hadn’t corrected her that he’s from Dublin, or that his job usually involves interrogating crackheads at three in the morning.

He’d had the normal flicker of worry that she might recognise his full name when he produced his documentation, but she either didn’t know or remember the Knocknaree story or, like most people, failed to make the connection. “When can you move in?”

The bed in Heather’s spare room isn’t the most comfortable bed he’s ever slept in, but it’s not bad. He dreams of wardrobes and woods and wolves and wakes up in the middle of the night for no apparent reason, his shoulder aching slightly.


	43. Chapter 43

Rob is driving; he doesn’t know where he’s going. Tears are coursing down his face as he steers through the darkened streets.

He can still hear the voices of the journalists in his head, even though they no longer surround his car. There are other voices too, Rosalind saying happily _You’re a reject, like me_ and Cassie’s sad _We won’t see each other again_. His mother’s voice, _Why do you still worship those kids? They were vicious to you_ and going further back, the kids on the street throwing stones at him, _Where’s Peter? Where’s Jamie?_ and Peter and Jamie themselves, _You’re no fun. You’re such a waste of skin_.

He remembers what he told O’Kelly, about Adam dying in a car crash. _To me it reads deliberate._

Abruptly he turns his car around, getting a blast of horn from the car behind him as he swings down a dead end. There’s a brick wall straight ahead of him.

He presses the accelerator down as far as it will go and closes his eyes as he takes his hands off the wheel.

He wakes up in hospital, with cuts and bruises and his mother at his side, and all he feels is disappointment.


	44. Chapter 44

The suspect has a knife. Cassie freezes when she sees the glint of the blade and although it’s only for a second, it’s long enough for the suspect to get the upper hand. It’s Rob who manages to seize him, twisting his arm behind his back until he yelps and lets go of the weapon.

“You OK?” Rob mutters to her as he manhandles the suspect into the squad car with more force than is strictly necessary.

“Yep,” she says calmly. Rob doesn’t say anything else, but she can feel him being more gentle than usual with her, like the way she is with him whenever a missing child case lands on one of their desks. It irks her, she doesn’t want his sympathy, but she gets where he’s coming from.

“Thanks,” she says later, over a large glass of brandy. He nods and squeezes her arm and they go back to teasing each other.


	45. Chapter 45

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drabble based on a throwaway line in In the Woods. Written in the first person because Tana French’s style rubs off on you.

As per the terms of our dare, I come into work on Monday with painted gold nails. Predictably, Quigley is the first to notice.

“What—“ he begins, too flummoxed to really say anything.

“It’s the fashion in England,” I explain. I hear Cassie stifle a cackle at her desk.

I spend the rest of the morning hiding my hands under the desk whenever O’Kelly approaches. Quigley doesn’t dob me in, fair play to him. At lunchtime Cassie relents and takes the stuff off me in the ladies’ loos.

“Never again,” I warn her.

“But you look so pretty,” she says.


	46. Chapter 46

Their wedding day is simple, just the two of them with Clare and Rob’s old schoolfriend as witnesses.

”I, Adam Robert Reilly, do take thee, Cassandra Maddox...” he reels off.

She’s barely aware of reciting her own vows, her eyes are fixed on Rob’s and he looks so happy she almost cries. She blinks back joyful tears so they don’t ruin her make-up. “You look beautiful,” he had whispered when he saw her in her dress.

Finally, they are pronounced husband and wife and given permission to kiss. Charlie gives an exaggerated whoop as they embrace. Clare dabs at her eyes.

Later as they celebrate in the hotel bar, she catches him looking wistful and knows he must be picturing his friends here, Peter as best man, Jamie as Cassie’s matron of honour, helping her take her shoes off. “You okay?” she whispers.

He smiles at his wife. “Of course.”


	47. Chapter 47

He reads about Peter’s father’s death in the paper. He still gets the Irish newspapers delivered to him, just in case. The article is buried in the back pages and the headline is vague enough for him to have missed it, if not for the tiny photos of Peter and Jamie — thankfully not Adam — to the right of the text. He holds the paper with trembling hands and reads how Mr Savage took his own life on the anniversary of the disappearances. Rob had known what date it was, of course, but had become accustomed to letting it pass like any other day. The final blow is in the last sentence of the article: Peter’s dad had hanged himself in the woods.

Fortunately he doesn’t socialise with the other trainee officers on his course, otherwise they might notice something is wrong. He gets through the rest of the day on autopilot, then calls his mother when he gets home.

She brings up the news first. “I don’t know if you saw...” she begins hesitantly.

”Yes, I know about the suicide,” he cuts her off.

”I was thinking about sending a card, or something—“

”Don’t,” he says. “Don’t get in touch. They’ll want to know where I am.” Unlike Jamie’s mother, Peter’s family hadn’t blamed him for the disappearances, but he can’t risk anyone finding out about his background. The police will never let him become a murder detective if they know about his link to a cold case.

His mother sighs. “Adam...”

”It’s Rob now,” he corrects her automatically.

”If you want to talk about it...”

”Why would I want to talk about it?” He suddenly feels so, so tired and realises it will never be over. “I’ve got to go. Speak soon.” He hangs up before she can try to put his father on the phone.


	48. Chapter 48

A few weeks after the disappearances, the police arrange a reconstruction. There are two local children playing Peter and Jamie, and Adam is to go into the woods with them, followed by the detectives. There are Garda officers everywhere, so it’s perfectly safe.

Adam and the pretend Peter and Jamie act out the part of the day that Adam remembers, playing on the estate and then heading into the woods as usual. Adam freezes as soon as he gets into the familiar clearing. The other two go on as instructed, but Adam refuses to move any further.

“Come on, Adam. Stop pissing about,” snaps one of the detectives. “You must remember something.” He tries to pull Adam deeper into the woods, but Adam grabs hold of the branch of a tree and holds on, screaming.

“Enough. This isn’t working,” says the other detective. They take Adam home where he spends the rest of the day curled up on his bed, silent and afraid.


	49. Chapter 49

Rob and Cassie are sitting on the edge of her sofa, her hand playing with the frayed rug underneath. She’s just told him about the creep she knew at uni, who threatened her quietly while watched by a group of people, who had been her friends.

After a silence he reaches out to tentatively put an arm around her, and she relaxes against him.

”I would never let anyone hurt you,” he says finally, so softly and sincerely that she turns to look at him in surprise. Their eyes meet in an oddly charged moment. He has the brief impulse to lean in and kiss her on the mouth, just to see what would happen.

Instead he gives her an Eskimo kiss and then tickles her until she begs for mercy. “Rob, stop!” she gasps, tears of mirth rolling down her cheeks. They end up in a giddy, tangled heap on her floor, giggling like children.


	50. Chapter 50

When Rob enters the cafe, Frank is already sitting down with a cup of tea and a newspaper. As Rob gets closer, he recognises the lurid headline and the photograph of Heather.

”I wouldn’t have thought tabloid tittle-tattle was your thing,” he says as Frank looks up.

”I don’t know what you’re worried about,” Frank says cheerfully. “She gave you a great review in the sack.”

Rob makes a mental note to read the article later. “Do you want a coffee?”

”Nah. Just get what you want, on expenses.”

Rob gets an espresso and sits opposite Frank, who finally puts the paper away. “So?”

”I’ve got a job for you.”

Rob almost laughs. “I don’t think I’m the best person for an undercover role right now, do you?”

”It’s not undercover work. I just want you to do some digging.”

”Why me?”

”Have you got anything else to do at the moment?”

Frank has a point. He fills Rob in on the details of the investigation, then drops into conversation, “Heard from Maddox lately?”

”No.” Rob shakes his head. “I heard she’s working DV now.”

”Did you know she was pregnant?”

Rob freezes. “What?”

”We did some tests, after she came out of that house. She was pregnant then. She’s not now, though. Guess she and Sammy decided against parenthood.” Frank’s eyes are closely trained on Rob’s face.

 _Oh, my Cassie_. Rob feels his heart breaking all over again.

”I’ll do the work for you,” he says abruptly. “I’ll be in touch.”

Frank looks almost sorry for him. “I’ll get the bill.”


	51. Chapter 51

Rob slowly pulls the car up outside Cassie’s place. They sit in silence for a minute, neither of them moving to get out.

”I’m sorry,” he says finally.

She looks at him in confusion. “It’s not your fault.”

He shakes his head. “All the stress you’ve been under, it can’t have helped.”

”You heard what the doctor said. It’s just one of those things.”

He takes a deep breath. “We can try again. Eventually, if you want.”

She smiles sadly. “Maybe we just weren’t meant to be parents.”

 _There is no fairytale ending, not for you, not ever._ He reaches for her hand. “Come on, let’s get you inside.”

Unusually — he knows she hates public displays of affection — he puts his arm around her as they walk from the car to her door, and he gets his spare key out to let them in. Inside, he puts the TV on and covers her with a blanket, then brings her a cup of tea. “Is there anything else you want?”

”Just a hug, please.”

He comes to sit behind her on the sofa and she leans back into his arms. They huddle up and channel-surf until she finds an old black-and-white movie to watch.


	52. Chapter 52

Cassie returns to work on the Monday following her aunt’s death. Her hair is tied back — she’s thinking of getting it cut — and she’s wearing make-up to cover her exhaustion. She takes the stairs rather than the lift so she has more time to compose herself.

Rob is waiting for her at the top of the stairwell. He waits for her to reach him, then silently puts his arms around her. He’s never hugged her before, their physicality usually consists of playful punches and friendly shoulder pats, but strangely it’s not awkward. Her head fits perfectly under his chin.

Then he stands back and pats her on the shoulder, saying “Welcome back, Maddox,” and holds the door open for her.


	53. Chapter 53

Rob wakes up to the sound of an unfamiliar alarm. He opens his eyes blearily and sees his watch lying on a girl’s dressing table. He looks over his shoulder and sees a dark head on the pillow beside him. He almost reaches out, saying _Cassie?_ but then he remembers. Last night, Heather, a bottle of her rosé wine between them.

Still, from this angle, he can almost pretend he’s gone back to the morning he woke up in Cassie’s bed. This time, he won’t get up quietly and leave before she wakes up. Instead, he’ll wake her by covering her face with kisses and try to persuade her to call in sick to work and spend the day in bed.

He hears Heather sit up to turn off the alarm and can feel her turning to look at him. He closes his eyes and pretends to be asleep until he hears Heather get up and go into the bathroom.


	54. Chapter 54

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slightly smutty double drabble.

Rob reaches up to unbutton Cassie’s shirt, letting his hands run down her body as he does so. She shrugs off the shirt so she’s standing in front of him in just her underwear. As if reading his mind she reaches for his belt and deftly unbuckles it. He stands up to take his trousers off and then pulls her onto the bed with him, hands caressing bare skin. He unclasps her bra and lets her slide him out of his boxers before tugging off her pants so they’re both exposed. There’s no awkwardness, just delight in seeing each other in this new light. He takes her face in his hands and thinks he’s never seen anything so beautiful as her smile right now. They kiss passionately and he buries his face in her neck as she covers his skin with tiny kisses.

He pulls back to look at her and murmurs, “Here,” as he takes her necklace off, placing it next to her lamp. He resumes kissing her, his hand stroking over her chest before moving down to gently trace over her scar. Their eyes meet and she whispers, “Come here,” and pulls him down so he’s above her.


	55. Chapter 55

Rosalind’s fingers are pressed against the glass. She’s looking directly at Rob, although she can’t see him. She taunts him, calling him Adam, speaking in a ridiculous English accent. He feels dizzy, like he’s in a dream where’s he’s falling and about to hit the ground.

He’s only dimly aware of O’Kelly opening the door and telling Rob to come to his office. He doesn’t move until he feels Sam put a gentle hand on his arm, saying his name. Sam and Quigley are both looking at him with shock and concern, and worst of all pity. Phelan just looks mortified.

He stumbles out of the observation room, nearly tripping over as he goes, and walks slowly into O’Kelly’s office. O’Kelly has pulled some of the 1985 photographs from the wall and is looking at Adam’s photo. He looks from it to Rob as if comparing the freckles.

”Is it true?” he says quietly. “Are you Adam Reilly?”

Rob meets his eyes and nods slowly. He still feels winded.

”What in God’s name were you thinking?” O’Kelly is still dangerously quiet. “You couldn’t have destroyed this case more if you’d tried. All that digging into 1985. You were investigating your own disappearance!”

Rob tries to explain, although his words sound feeble even to him. “I thought... if I could solve this case, I could find out what happened back then as well. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to be taken off the case.”

”Don’t give me that!” O’Kelly snaps. “You lied to me. You told me Adam Reilly was dead in a car crash!”

”I was panicking.” Rob can feel tears starting at the back of his eyes and hopes O’Kelly can’t see them. “I didn’t want to lose my job. I love this job. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

O’Kelly almost looks sad for him. “You know I’ll have to suspend you.”

Rob nods. He takes his ID and his gun and places them on the desk, the gesture feeling foolishly melodramatic. Finally he says the most important thing, the thing he’s been wanting to say since he walked in here:

”Maddox didn’t know.”


	56. Chapter 56

He and Cassie are talking about their childhoods when it first comes up. He’s managed to steer around the topic so far, talking about his boarding school days as if there was nothing before, although he has let slip that he lived in Dublin until he was 12.

”Why did your parents send you to boarding school?” she asks, taking a bite of kebab. “If they were moving to England anyway?”

”I think they wanted me to have... stability,” Rob says haltingly. He’s just repeating something his dad said to him, years ago.

”Why? Did they get divorced?”

”No, they stayed together.” Rob is suddenly sick of all the half-truths. “Something happened to me when I was 12.”

”What?” Cassie stops chewing and he can see all sorts of nightmare scenarios going through her head.

”Do you remember the case of Peter Savage and Jamie Rowan?”

”God, yeah.” Cassie swallows. “I was ten when they disappeared. It wasn’t that far from me. Made my aunt paranoid for a while. Why?”

”I was with them the day they disappeared.” Rob’s voice sounds strangely calm, like he’s talking about a case. “I was the one who was found.”

Cassie thinks and her eyes widen as it clicks. “Adam?”

He flinches, the name sounds wrong coming from her. “Yeah. Adam Reilly. I thought it might come up when I applied for the job, but...”

”So Robert...”

”It’s my middle name.”

”Shit,” says Cassie, and he realises what a position he’s put her in by telling her. Then he sees that’s not what’s bothering her. “Rob, I’m sorry. That must have been awful for you.”

”I don’t remember that much,” he says honestly. “I barely remember anything of that day, actually. The weeks afterwards are a blur. The locals had their pitchforks out for us. Jamie’s mother was convinced I’d done something to her and Peter and, I don’t know, made their bodies disappear or something. That’s why we moved to England.”

”Does O’Kelly know?”

He snorts. “You must be joking. I’d never have been allowed to work Murder. You’re the first person I’ve told.”

She stretches out her legs and puts her feet on his lap. He massages the sole of her left foot until she finally says, “Thanks for telling me.”

He brings her foot up and kisses it through her sock, then takes the rest of her kebab while she’s distracted.


	57. Chapter 57

Rob looks heavily at the graffiti on the wall outside his front door. Someone has spray-painted “WHERE ARE THEY, ADAM?” in scarlett red letters across the grubby white exterior. Probably just kids. It’s the sort of thing he, Peter and Jamie would have found funny once.

Someone is watching him through one of the windows in the house next door. He gives them the finger and the curtains close.

He has to get rid of the message before his landlord sees it. He was lucky to find a new place, without a reference from Heather and with the press watching his every move. He gets a bucket of soapy water and tries to scrub the words off, but only succeeds in turning the wall behind them slightly pink.

Throwing the sponge in the bucket, he drives to the nearest DIY store and buys some white paint and paintbrushes. By the time he gets home, it’s starting to get dark. He pulls his coat tighter around his shoulders and starts to paint over the red “ADAM”.


	58. Chapter 58

Rob enters the familiar cold room and freezes. Cassie is lying dead on the slab, naked, with a stab wound on her chest, her eyes open and staring. He turns to the left and sees Cassie, the real one, standing next to Sam, looking paler than usual.

”Cassie,” he whispers, quickly crossing over to hug her. He can’t bring himself to look at the dead girl again. Cassie had told him on the phone that the victim looked just like her, but he hadn’t thought she meant literally. He hears Sam saying to Cooper, “Can we cover her up?” Cooper covers the girl with a blanket.

”So what have we got here?” says Rob, having recovered slightly from the shock.

”A Jane Doe, using Maddox’s old undercover identity,” says Mackey cheerfully from the corner. “Probably someone Maddox knew back then mistook our girl for Lexie, and she went along with it.”

”It’s uncanny, the likeness,” says Cooper, still looking at the girl’s face. Rob doesn’t look in his direction.

”Mackey’s got a plan,” says Sam, speaking directly to Rob. “He wants to pretend Lexie — or whoever she was — is still alive. He wants Cassie to go undercover again.”

”I haven’t agreed yet,” says Cassie quickly.

”It’s madness. Will you tell her?” says Sam. He must be desperate if he’s appealing to Rob.

”There’s no way Maddox could pass for Lexie,” says Rob, shaking his head seriously. “Lexie was pretty.”

There’s a moment of shocked silence where everyone stares at him, then Cassie bursts out laughing and punches him in the shoulder. “You bastard,” she says, wiping her eyes. “I knew I asked you along for a reason.”

”When you two have finished your double act, can we get back to business?” says Cooper. Rob nods and squeezes Cassie’s shoulder, privately thinking that she’ll go undercover as a murder victim over his dead body.


	59. Chapter 59

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First person drabble. Cassie’s POV.

I’m dreaming again, Daniel’s shooting mixed in with the old nightmares. I’m flailing and shouting incoherently when I feel someone gently shaking me by the shoulders.

”Cass? Cassie?” It’s Rob. I turn and press my face against his shoulder, giving a muffled dry sob.

”Shh, shh,” he whispers. “You’re safe.” My heart slams against his as my surroundings gradually return.

Eventually I turn my back to Rob and he wraps his arms around my waist. I close my eyes and hear him say, “My Cass,” softly into my hair. I reach back to stroke his face.

”My Rob,” I say.


	60. Chapter 60

Rob sits on the end of Cassie’s bed, his shoes unlaced and his shirt unbuttoned. He feels numb, the memories of last night entwined with earlier moments of him and Cassie, laughing and teasing and talking about anything and everything. All the things they can’t do any more.

He stands up to button his shirt and as he does so he catches a glimpse of Cassie in her full-length mirror. She looks so peaceful, for a moment he just wants to crawl back into bed with her and stay there forever. Instead, he looks around for his jacket and tie. He hasn’t planned what he’ll say if Cassie wakes up and sees him leaving, probably some excuse about going out for coffee, but she doesn’t wake.

He goes home to get ready for work. “Dirty stop-out,” Heather comments as he walks through her kitchen. He ignores her. Once he gets to the station he gives Quigley the brush-off and heads down to the basement, delaying the inevitable moment when he has to see Cassie again. He hates himself for what he has to do, but looking at the photographs of Peter and Jamie and feeling the familiar strains of grief and guilt, he knows he has no other choice.


	61. Chapter 61

Cassie gets properly drunk after the funeral. Rob practically has to carry her from the pub to their taxi. Back at her flat, she gives him the keys so he can let them in. The room is spinning and she thinks she might be sick, but he sits her down and gives her a pint of water to drink.

”You should get an early night,” he says gently. “Long day.”

She nods, remembering how he held her hand earlier. “Thanks for today.”

Once she’s drunk all the water, she changes into a T-shirt and crawls into bed. She’s too exhausted to brush her teeth or take off what’s left of her mascara. He refills her water glass and places it at the side of her bed.

”I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

”Could you stay?” she blurts. The thought of being alone is suddenly too much.

He stops. “Sure.” He settles down on the bed beside her and puts a tentative arm around her. “No funny business,” he warns.

“I’m not _that_ drunk, Reilly.”

She finally falls asleep around midnight and wakes with his arms still around her.


	62. Chapter 62

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little expansion of Rob and Cassie’s first meeting scene.

“Hello, freak.”

Rob turns to look her straight in the eyes. “Hello.”

Cassie holds out her packet of cigarettes and he takes one. He lights it and breathes in.

“So who did you lose?” she asks.

He sighs. “It’s a long story.” She doesn’t say anything so he finally adds, “I was a kid.”

She nods, understands. “Still trying to make sense of it.”

“So did I pass the test?” he asks.

She smiles. “I haven’t decided yet.”

“So I’m on probation?”

She nods and exhales.

“I could do with a new partner,” he says conversationally. “I’ve been working with this guy Quigley, but he’s an imbecile...”

She snorts. “Partners, hey?”

“Think about it.”

”What makes you think we’d get on?”

”Well, you haven’t asked about the accent, for one thing.” He does his best Quigley impression. “What’s an Englishman doing in the Gardaí? Are you an MI5 mole? Are you related to the Queen?”

”That does sound annoying,” she acknowledges.

“You have no idea.”

“Tell you what,” she says, tossing her cigarette out of the window. “We get a solve on this case, and you’ve got yourself a partner.” She holds out her hand. “Deal?”

He takes her hand. “Deal.”


	63. Chapter 63

The guy is small and puny, not what Rob expected. He’s good-looking in an understated sort of way and has a vulnerable air about him. Rob can see how he might have manipulated Cassie’s friends into believing he was the victim.

”Excuse me,” Rob calls. The man turns and Rob holds up his police badge as he approaches.

”How can I help you, officer?” asks Cassie’s tormentor politely.

After checking that there’s no one else around, Rob grabs him by the collar and slams him against the wall.

”What the—“ the puny runt splutters. “What the _hell_ —“

”My name is Adam Reilly,” says Rob clearly, enunciating every word. “If you ever so much look at or mention Cassie Maddox’s name to anyone ever again, I will kill you—“ He places his hands on the other man’s throat for emphasis. “And I will make sure that your body is never found. Understand?”

He doesn’t know if Legion recognises his name or not. Nevertheless, he looks terrified as Rob’s hands close around his throat.

”Yes — yes, I understand,” he chokes.

”Good.” Rob steps back pleasantly, letting his hands fall to his sides. “Thanks for your cooperation. Mind how you go, now.”

He watches the little runt run for his life and smiles for the first time in weeks.


	64. Chapter 64

Peter has the flu, so Adam and Jamie are spending the day together without him. Adam feels strangely shy, unused to it being just the two of them, but it doesn’t seem to bother Jamie, who talks as much as ever. She looks very pretty today, Adam thinks.

Just as they are leaving the woods a voice calls to them. “Hey!” They turn to see a man standing by a tree. “I live in the cottage over there,” he says, nodding. “Want to come and see?”

”No, thank you,” says Adam firmly. He takes Jamie’s hand and tugs her away.

The man steps closer to them. “I have marbles.”

“Come on,” Adam mutters to Jamie. They turn and run back to the estate. By the time they reach Jamie’s house they are both giggling nervously.

”Should we tell your mam?” Adam asks Jamie when they’ve recovered.

”No _way_.” Jamie shakes her head. They go to visit Peter instead and tell him all about their daring escape from a maniac.

”Wish I’d been there,” says Peter wistfully. “I’m so _bored_.”

”Maybe he’ll come back,” says Adam, voicing his fear.

”If he does we’ll be ready for him,” says Peter. Jamie nods.

The next day Peter is well enough to play again and the three of them go into the woods. There’s no sign of the man with the marbles, to Peter’s disappointment. Adam soon forgets all about the incident, until years later when Cassie says something that triggers a vague feeling of unease.


	65. Chapter 65

On his first day in Murder, while Quigley is away having lunch, Rob steals down to the basement where cold cases are kept. He’s spent most of the morning listening to jokes about the English, which suits him fine. The more English they think he is, the less likely they are to make the connection to little Irish Adam. He finds the box he’s looking for, labelled _Knocknaree 1985_ , and opens it with his heart thudding.

Inside he finds a stack of witness statements, some of them with his own name on. He doesn’t remember the names of the detectives who interviewed him, but he’s pretty sure they were both old enough to be long retired by now. There are photographs too, one of the three bikes where they were abandoned and one of the tree where Adam was found, not that he remembers. There are Peter and Jamie’s school photos, the ones that were splashed everywhere on missing posters for weeks, before it became a murder enquiry. There’s also Adam’s own smiling photograph, that was meant to be shown discreetly to potential witnesses but somehow found its way to the press.

Then there are the evidence bags, the clothes Adam was wearing that day, including the tiny yellow T-shirt. He can’t bring himself to take it out of the bag and look at the slashes on the back, even if he had time. Then he sees the bag containing his old socks and trainers, covered in dark blood. He stills. DNA testing has moved on since the eighties. He could send them to a lab, have them tested again. He knows he won’t.

There’s no flood of memories, and he doesn’t know whether to feel disappointed or relieved about that. He picks up another evidence bag, this one containing his old cherished tape recorder — he’d taken it everywhere that year — and a cassette with his own childish writing, “ _Top 20!!_ ” He almost smiles.

The lights flicker above him and he glances up to see the wolf from his nightmares standing in the nearest aisle, glaring at him. Its eyes are bright yellow and menacing. Rob stares back.

The door to the basement opens and Quigley looks in. “Did you get lost on the way to the jacks?” he demands.

”I was just doing some research,” Rob says, quickly replacing the lid on the box and pushing it aside with a gloved hand.

”Yeah, well I need you in interview when you’ve finished.” Quigley strides back upstairs, leaving Rob alone with the flickering lights.


	66. Chapter 66

Shane Waters. Rob can scarcely believe it as he looks at the photograph. It feels like a lifeline after weeks of dead ends.

”Well done,” he says. “He could be the key to solving this case.” Phelan is trying not to look too pleased with himself. Cassie’s words _He’s got a man crush on you_ flash through Rob’s brain. At the time he’d joked _Someone has to have a crush on me_ and she’d scoffed. He pushes the now-painful memory away.

“Glad I could help,” says Phelan. “If you need me to help find him...” His ambition is showing.

“What’s your name?” Rob asks, suddenly realising that he doesn’t know. “Your first name, I mean.”

”Steve. Stephen. My friends call me Steve.” Phelan goes scarlet.

”OK, Steve. Good work.” Rob bounds off to O’Kelly’s office to show him Shane’s photograph, wishing that Cassie was at his side at this moment.


	67. Chapter 67

They all go for a drink together a few weeks after that awkward first meeting. Cassie is still desperate to get Rob and Sam to like each other, although she’s not sure why.

Predictably, Rob leaves Cassie and Sam alone while he goes to chat up a woman at the bar and, equally predictably, when he decides she’s not his type he returns and puts an arm around Cassie.

“Quick, kiss me,” he says in an undertone.

“Quick, fuck off,” Cassie hisses back, just as urgently.

“What’s up?” says Sam, frowning.

“She started showing me kitten photos. So I said I’d better get back to my girlfriend.” Rob glances nervously over his shoulder, keeping his arm around Cassie.

She shrugs him off, leans over and plants a deep kiss on Sam, who responds enthusiastically after a pause.

“Thanks, Cass,” Rob mutters. “Knew I could count on you.”

“It’s fine. She’ll just think we’re in a _ménage à trois_.” Cassie sits back and smiles at Sam’s dazed expression. The woman at the bar is watching them with a face like thunder.

“Next time I’ll just say Sam’s my boyfriend.” Rob takes a sip of his pint.

“I’m out of your league.” Sam smiles. Rob feigns indignation and Cassie has a moment of hope that her men can be friends.


	68. Chapter 68

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one’s for the Cassam shippers (sorry Reidox).

The weather is terrible and Cassie’s umbrella is broken. She’s running to get out of the downpour, wishing Rob were here to hold his coat over her head and tell her she looks like Kenny from South Park in her red raincoat.

As she reaches the entrance to the station, her foot slips and she nearly goes flying. Before she can face plant the top step, she feels a pair of strong arms grab her and yank her to her feet.

“Sorry,” the owner of the arms apologises, as if he might have hurt her by grabbing her. He’s tall and broad, with a handsome, bearded face.

“Thanks,” she says, straightening up.

“Are ye detective Maddox, by any chance?” he asks. He has what Quigley would call a culchie accent.

“I am, yeah. You’d be O’Neill?”

“That’s me,” he says cheerfully, holding out a hand to shake.

“Cassie,” she says, shaking it.

“Sam.” He smiles and holds the door open for her. There’s something about him that instantly makes her feel safe.

“My partner Reilly would be here, but he’s chasing up another lead,” she explains, shaking the rain out of her hair.

“Just the two of us, then?”

“For now.”


	69. Chapter 69

The terms of the affair are simple. They meet once a week, always at different hotels, always when Sam is working. They call each other Adam and Lexie, to add to the sense of unreality. Cassie quite enjoys the subterfuge. It’s like being undercover again, until Rob has to ruin it.

”I love you,” he whispers, covering her face with kisses. “I love you so much.”

She stills under his hands. “Adam...”

”It’s Rob,” he says, not wanting to play the Adam-and-Lexie game any more.

”We agreed this is just...”

”What?” He sits back on the bed. “A meaningless affair?”

She sits up, too. “I’m not going to leave Sam.”

”I haven’t asked you to.”

”What do you want, then?”

”Can’t we just be us again?” he says, not looking at her.

She shakes her head, keeping her eyes on the floor.

”Cassie,” he says, and she can hear the tears in his voice before she looks up and sees them. “Cass—“

She leans in until their foreheads are touching. They stay like that until she finally says, “We can’t do this any more.”

He nods. “I know.”

They still have the room booked for an hour, so they curl up and go to sleep. Cassie wakes first and slides out from under Rob’s arm. She gathers up her belongings and takes one last look at his face before leaving quietly, shutting the door with a soft click.


	70. Chapter 70

Rob introduces Cassie to his mother a few months after their first meeting.

”Mum,” he says, giving Clare an awkward half-hug. “This is Cassie, from work.”

”Nice to meet you, Mrs Reilly,” Cassie says warmly, shaking her hand. Clare looks at Rob questioningly.

”She knows,” he says, without further explanation.

Clare nods. “Call me Clare,” she tells Cassie.

The two women are left alone together while Rob goes to get the coffees.

”How long have you and Adam worked together?” asks Clare.

It takes Cassie a moment to think who she’s talking about. “We’ve been partnered for a couple of months.”

”I’m glad he’s got a friend,” says Clare, glancing over at her son. “I worry about him. He was such a happy child, but after what happened...”

”He told me how you had to move to England,” Cassie says sympathetically. “That must have been tough.”

”Yes, and putting him in boarding school.” Clare sighs. “I do regret that now, but we thought we were doing the right thing at the time.”

”He knows that,” says Cassie.

”Do you have kids?” asks Clare.

”God, no.” Cassie smiles.

”A boyfriend?”

Cassie can see where this is going. “No. It’s difficult with work, you know.”

”It’s the same for Adam. I’d like to see him settled down. Your parents must feel the same way.”

”My parents are dead,” says Cassie, used to not tiptoeing around the fact. “Car crash.”

”Oh, I’m so sorry...”

Cassie shakes her head. “It’s fine. I was young when it happened.” She’s not sure why that makes it any better.

Rob returns with the tray of coffees. “Your mam was just about to show me your baby pictures,” Cassie tells him. He flicks her in the nose while Clare watches.

When they say goodbye, Rob manages to give his mother a proper hug and Cassie does the same.

”She seems lovely,” says Cassie, as Rob drives them back to the station.

“Did she try to convince you we were a match made in heaven?” Rob asks, eyes on the road.

”Yep,” says Cassie cheerfully. “I told her I wouldn’t touch you with a bargepole.” Rob takes his hand off the wheel to give her the finger.


	71. Chapter 71

Rob and his mother sit in silence in her kitchen. His feet are still bleeding and he can feel bits of glass in his skin. He should go for a shower, but instead he lights another cigarette. He’s still reeling from Clare’s words about Peter and Jamie. Can it be true, that they weren’t really his friends, that they’re not worth suffering for? Can he be free? Maybe Cassie is the only friend he’s ever really had. _Was_ the only friend, he corrects himself.

“And why has Cassie fallen out with you?” says Clare. He looks up, startled, at her apparent mind-reading.

He shrugs. “Why do you think?” he says, trying to sound uncaring. “I screwed her, in every sense.”

Clare sighs. “Adam — _Rob_ , then,” she says angrily, as he opens his mouth.

”Clare. I’m a disaster. Cassie is better off out of it.”

”Cassie loves you,” she says simply, surprising him again. “A mother can tell these things.”

”Well, she hates me now,” says Rob, uncomfortable with this emotional talk. He would rather go into detail about his sexual exploits with Heather than talk about his _feelings_ right now. He takes another drag on the cigarette.

“Just talk to her,” says Clare. “Whatever you’ve done, she’ll forgive you. Just be honest.”

“I can’t talk to her now,” he says, remembering the message he left on her phone, lying uselessly in her bedroom. “She’s undercover. I don’t know how long for.”

Clare nods. She gets up, looking at his filthy feet. “I’ll run you a bath.”


	72. Chapter 72

Cassie sits in the car with the rain thrashing at the windows, still clutching her phone. There’s a tap at the passenger side and she jumps, then sees Rob through the darkness, getting soaked. She reaches over to unlock the door.

He slides into the passenger seat, shivering. “Hi,” he says easily, as if it hasn’t been months since they last saw each other.

”Hi.” She can’t express how relieved she is to see him, dripping water all over her car seat. He locks the door again without her having to ask.

”So...” He looks at her questioningly. “Want to come back to mine?”

That does sound safer than returning to her place, as Johnstone might have found out where she lives. She nods.

”Want me to drive?”

”No, I’m okay.” She starts the engine and finds that she’s stopped trembling. “Are you still at Heather’s?”

”No, I’ve got a new place.”

He directs her to his new home in the middle of nowhere. He lives on the bottom floor of a house that’s been converted into two flats. There’s graffiti on the wall and she makes out the word “Adam” as he lets her in.

”Tea or whisky?” he asks, gesturing for her to sit down on the one sofa.

”Whisky.”

Rob pours her a drink and then goes to dry off. He returns holding his own glass, clinking the ice cubes together. As he settles down beside her, it feels like so many other nights, in spite of the new surroundings.

”Are you sure it was one of Johnstone’s men you saw?” he asks.

”I think so.” She feels foolish now, thinking of how scared she must have sounded on the phone and how Rob had immediately said, “I’ll come and find you.”

”Why did you call me, anyway?” His brow furrows. “Why not Sam?”

The ring on her finger, the one Rob politely isn’t mentioning, glints at them. “You were the first person I thought of,” she says truthfully. “And Sam’s working,” she adds, remembering.

”I could have been working, too.”

”Were you?”

”No. I took time out of my busy social schedule to come to you.” He clinks their glasses together.

She smiles, then stops. “When I saw him... he did the whole...” She makes the throat-slitting gesture. “Which is what Johnstone did, right before...”

”Oh, Cass.” He sets his drink down and pulls her into a hug, stroking her hair.

”I’m okay,” she says against his shoulder. “Really.” She lets out a long breath. “I probably shouldn’t have called you.”

”I’m glad you did.” He picks up his glass again and they drink in silence, savouring the moments until she has to go home.


	73. Chapter 73

Rob watches the tiny baby squirming in Cassie’s arms, a dazzling pink creature with tufts of dark hair. She had come into the world screaming indignantly with huge blue eyes staring up at her parents, demanding answers. He wonders if those eyes will eventually turn brown like his, or Cassie’s shade of green.

His eyes meet Cassie’s and they share a tiny private smile over their daughter’s head. They had agreed to raise the baby together, as platonic friends. There were worse situations for a baby to be born into and having parents who liked and respected each other was enough. Looking at Cassie now though, completely exhausted and sweaty and never more beautiful, he can’t deny his feelings any more.

”I love you,” he whispers, leaning in to kiss her hair, smoothing it back from her face. “Both of you.”

Even if she rejects him, tells him it’s just the relief of the birth being over talking, he doesn’t mind, but she smiles and slips her hand into his. “I love you. We both do.”

They continue to watch as if hypnotised as Alexandra Clare Maddox Reilly turns her head slightly and gives something that could be a snore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive the extreme fluff, I blame the lockdown :)


	74. Chapter 74

They make their first joint arrest a week after meeting, when they find the man who killed the young woman whose body they met over. They high-five each other in the observation room before entering the interview room to begin working the suspect. They’ve decided to use the classic good cop, bad cop routine, with Rob as the harsh English interrogator and Cassie as the kind and sympathetic listener.

“Would you like a cup of tea?” Cassie asks the suspect gently, as she and Rob sit down.

“Later, maybe,” says Rob, glaring at the suspect, who shrinks back. “Let’s talk about the murder first.”

“We don’t know that it was murder, Reilly,” Cassie interjects, as he gives her a withering look. “Give the man a chance to speak. I’m sure he wants to share his side.”

They have a full confession in less than an hour, and celebrate by ordering pizza to their desks, still buzzing as they finish the paperwork under Quigley’s watchful eye.

“You shagging her yet?” Quigley asks Rob while Cassie is in with O’Kelly. He sounds resentful that Rob’s new partner is already getting better results than him.

“I don’t sleep with my work partners,” Rob responds, not taking his eyes off the murderer’s statement. “You should know that.”

“She turn you down?” Quigley’s eyes widen. “Oh, is she a lezza?”

“No idea. It hasn’t come up.”

“Well, let me know if you want a real partner again, once O’Kelly’s finished ticking off his quotas.”

For some reason, Quigley is annoying Rob more than usual. “Maybe if you were better at the job we’d still be partners.” He gathers up his papers and pushes his chair back as he goes to find Cassie.

“Are you on your period?” Quigley yells after him.

Cassie is in the hallway, coming from O’Kelly’s office. “What’s up with him?” she asks, hearing Quigley.

“He’s just jealous of our result. So he’s being more of a wanker than usual.”

“Well, O’Kelly’s happy with us, so who cares.” She smiles.

“Good. If he’s happy I’m happy.”

“Drink to celebrate?” she asks. “I’ve got some whisky back at my place. I promise I won’t try to seduce you...”

“Yeah, why not.” Rob smiles, too. “Give Quigley something to talk about.”

“You have to give the poor fella something,” Cassie agrees. They make a big show of leaving together, Quigley watching open-mouthed as Cassie tucks her arm through Rob’s, then giggle their way down the corridor.


	75. Chapter 75

Cassie stares out into the darkness, waiting for Rob to return from attending to whatever creature they hit. Memories of that night in the car with her parents are inevitably churning in her mind, starting with the sound as the car had overturned. She’d been trapped for what felt like hours, calling “Mammy? Daddy?” until the ambulance and firemen came to cut her out, but in her head she had left the car and met Lexie for the first time. Lexie, who is now gone forever. Who never really existed, she reminds herself. She’s getting confused.

She hears Rob’s footsteps and quickly attempts to wipe the tears away. “Nothing there, can’t have hit it that hard,” Rob says with forced cheerfulness and the fact that Rob is trying to spare her feelings just makes Cassie cry harder. He sees the tears. “Cass—“ He reaches out for her.

“I’m okay, I’m okay.” She shakes her head as he pulls her against him. She presses the top of her head against his shoulder and he kisses her hair. Feeling better, she steps back from him and looks into his eyes. For some reason, Frank’s words from earlier come flooding back to her. _Rob Reilly’s your weak point, Cass._ At the time she’d dismissed it as Frank being Frank and trying to stir things between her and Sam, but now Rob is looking at her in a new, complicated way.

Tentatively, hesitatingly, he leans in and gently brushes his lips against hers. She jumps back as if electrocuted. Rob looks like he’s afraid of what her reaction might be. In the charged seconds that follow, Cassie just has time to register that Frank was right before she closes the gap between them.


	76. Chapter 76

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rob is at his worst here, sorry :)

The moment he wakes up in Heather’s bed for the first time Rob knows he’s made a terrible mistake. The room is so pink. Heather is sitting up watching him sleep.

“Morning, gorgeous!” she trills.

“Hi,” he says, rubbing his head and trying to look more hungover than he actually is, like he’s not sure how he got there.

“Want some breakfast? I can make eggs.”

“Yeah, thanks.” Rob seizes the opportunity to get rid of her. She leans down to kiss him on the lips.

As soon as she’s gone he grabs his clothes and dashes for the bathroom. He can hear Heather humming as he showers and realises for the first time just how annoying her voice is.

He stays in the bathroom for longer than necessary. “Rob, breakfast!” Heather eventually coos through the door.

“Just a sec.” Rob grits his teeth and thinks about how to get out of this one. The idea of a one-night stand is that you don’t have to see the other person again. How is he meant to avoid his landlady?

Finally he goes and sits down with Heather and eats breakfast, ignoring her chirpy attempts at conversation.

”Do you want a lift into work?” she asks finally, remembering that his car is still out of action.

“Cassie’s picking me up,” he says, with visible relief.

”Oh, right. I’d like to meet her sometime.”

”I don’t think you’d get on.” Rob stabs at a bit of toast. “She’s not really a girly girl.”

”Is that what you think I am?” She looks a bit wounded.

He shrugs, thinking this could be a good opportunity to get the fight over with. “I don’t see why you’d want to meet my friends anyway.”

”What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I just don’t want you to get the impression that last night meant more than it did.”

He catches the hurt look on her face before she snatches his plate away. “Yeah well, I wasn’t planning on _proposing_ to you, Rob.”

“Good.” He watches her slam plates into the sink. “So we’re okay?”

”We’re fine. By the way, could you try not to use all the hot water next time you have a shower.”

”Sure.”

She doesn’t look at him again as she violently cleans the plates, despite having a dishwasher. He shakes his head and goes to meet Cassie, thanking his stars that not all women are insane.


	77. Chapter 77

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drabble and a half.

He remembers the last time he saw her. His memory is blurred around the edges, altered with time. He remembers telling her how Peter and Jamie were taken because they were special and he wasn’t. His own words blur in with Rosalind’s taunts and he can’t remember who said what now.

“ _She was just twisting the knife,_ ” Cassie had said. And “ _I’ll miss you, very much. Be careful with yourself, Rob._ ”

He should have said it then, but he didn’t. In his head, when he replays it, he finds the words to make her stay. “ _You are the only person in this world that I love,_ ” he says, simply and effectively and she forgives him completely and stays. He imagines so many different scenarios where she stays that he can no longer remember what really happened, or why she left.

All he remembers is “ _We won’t see each other again._ ”


	78. Chapter 78

Robert has nightmares for the first few months at boarding school. His classmates taunt him about it, until one boy, Charlie, tells them to leave him alone. Robert thanks him next time they’re alone together, and Charlie asks him what the nightmares are about. In a moment of gratitude and weakness, Robert tells his new friend everything, about how his friends disappeared and he doesn’t remember what happened to them but he knows it was something bad. Charlie listens and promises to keep his secret.

Afterwards Robert realises he’s made a terrible mistake. Charlie will probably tell everyone, and they’ll all blame him for Peter and Jamie’s disappearances too. He’ll probably have to leave school, his family will have to move again and his parents will hate him. He lies awake, terrified, unable to return to his usual nightmares even if he wanted to.

He tries to avoid Charlie after that, but his new friend is hard to shake off. He doesn’t mention what Robert told him again, and nobody else seems to know. It’s Charlie who first starts calling him ‘Rob’, which he quite likes. Eventually he relaxes. Charlie hasn’t told anyone yet and if he did, where’s the proof?

Years later, after his identity has been publicly exposed, Rob meets Charlie for a drink and they talk about what happened for the first time since they were kids. “How come you never told anyone?” Rob asks finally.

“I thought you were making it up,” Charlie replies. “I’d forgotten all about it, to be honest.”

Rob stares at his friend, then laughs into his pint. “What?” Charlie wants to know, but Rob can’t speak.


	79. Chapter 79

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on a scene in episode five.

“You’ve still got a key to my flat.”

Rob stops on the stairs. “Yeah, well, not on me,” he lies. He can’t face the thought of handing it over right now.

“Just put it through the door,” Cassie says. He nods. “And Sam knows, by the way.”

He smirks, sensing an opportunity to hurt her back. “Well, he hasn’t said anything to me so he must have weighed it up. His ambition versus your honour. He chose ambition. Wise.”

She looks disgusted. “Are you like this with all women or is it, is it just me?”

He rolls his eyes and walks the couple of steps between them. “Cassie, you’re all the same. When it comes down to it, you’re all the same. You’re no different to any other woman. To be honest, I’m disappointed.”

She steps closer to him and he resists the urge to take a step back as she looks him straight in the eye.

“ _Coward_ ,” she says, sounding disappointed herself. She turns away and he flinches. He is a coward. Too afraid to remember what happened in the woods, too afraid to tell Cassie how he really feels. He watches her go, fingers the key in his pocket and turns to head back to his desk.


	80. Chapter 80

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on a scene from In the Woods, but from Cassie’s perspective.

Cassie is getting ready for bed when her phone starts buzzing. It’s an unknown number. She picks it up just in case it’s something to do with work, ready to hang up if whoever it is asks if she’s been in a car accident recently. “Hello?”

There’s a familiar intake of breath on the end of the line. “Cassie,” says Rob’s voice, slurring slightly. “You’re not really going to marry that boring bogger, are you?”

Cassie freezes. Rob. She had deleted his number ages ago, as part of the moving on process. She wonders how Rob knows about her and Sam’s engagement, then remembers the collection that was organised for them by the Murder team. Word must have spread to other departments.

“Please, Cass.” Rob is obviously quite drunk. “I love you. I’m sorry, for everything. Please.”

Cassie closes her eyes. She wishes Rob had said this months ago, before the abortion, before Sam proposed. She’d reassured Sam that it was all over between her and Rob, that Sam was all she wanted.

“Who is it?” Sam asks, strolling past her to the bed in his boxers and T-shirt.

Cassie slides the phone into the shirt pocket of her pyjamas, but doesn’t end the call. “Wrong number,” she says cheerfully.

“Good.” Sam climbs into bed. “Come here, you.”

Cassie slides under the covers and cuddles up to Sam. He falls asleep quickly and she rolls over, taking the phone out of her pocket. Rob is still on the line, she can hear him breathing. She doesn’t say anything, just holds the phone to her ear as the tears course down her face. She thinks Rob might be crying too. She falls asleep with the sound of his breaths in her ear and when she wakes up the call has been disconnected.


	81. Chapter 81

Rob and Cassie are hauled into O’Kelly’s office first thing on Monday morning. They can tell from his expression that it’s nothing good. When they step into the room Cassie stops dead.

“Hey, babe,” says Frank lazily, from where he’s sitting on O’Kelly’s desk.

“Get off there,” says O’Kelly and Frank does, slowly. “You know detective Maddox,” continues O’Kelly brusquely. “This is detective Reilly.”

Frank shakes Rob’s hand. “Frank Mackey. Undercover.” Rob looks at Cassie, guessing where this is going.

“There’s been a cock-up,” says O’Kelly, confirming Rob’s fears. “Your case clashes with one of his.”

“That nice man you’re investigating for murder? We’ve had him under our watch for a while,” says Frank. “If you keep pulling him in it’s going to jeopardise our whole operation.”

“He murdered his girlfriend,” says Cassie.

“He’s also the leader of one of the biggest drug rings in Dublin. We’re this close to putting him away for life.”

“So you want us to just forget about that whole pesky murder thing?” Cassie surmises.

“Your case is flimsy at best. I’m telling you to back off for now. Once we’ve got him for everything else, you can have another crack at him for the murder.”

“Sir—“ Cassie turns to O’Kelly, who shakes his head. “Out of my hands,” he says heavily. “Friends in high places.” He glares at Frank.

“Good. That’s understood then,” says Frank cheerfully. He makes to leave but Rob says, “What if we don’t back off?”

Frank stops. “Pardon?”

“What if we put him away for murder and then let you have another crack at him for the drugs stuff?”

Frank looks at Cassie, amused. “The English always think they know what’s best for everyone, hey?”

“He’s right,” says Cassie firmly, letting her arm brush against Rob’s. “You can’t just walk in here and tell us to drop our case.”

“You know how long it takes to set up an undercover operation. Even if you were on your back for most of yours.” Frank glances at Rob, whose expression doesn’t change.

“Maybe we can work together,” says Rob. “Find a way to get evidence for the murder without stepping on your toes.”

“How long have you been here, son?” Frank asks, although Rob is only ten years younger than him and a head taller. “Not Ireland. Murder?”

“Couple of years. And I’m from Dublin.”

“Let me explain to you how it works. I come here, tell you to drop this, and you two nod and scurry back to your desks. How does that sound?”

“Pretty shit, really,” says Rob. Cassie nudges him.

“We’re not dropping it,” she says. “You can work with us or against us.” Frank looks at O’Kelly, who almost looks proud.

“Fine,” Frank says at last, with a shark-like smile. “We’re all friends here. Let’s sit down and take a look at the evidence. I’ll let you try to convince me that you’ve got enough of a case.”

Rob nods and Cassie touches his arm again, under Frank’s watchful eye, as they lead him to the evidence room.


	82. Chapter 82

“Adam,” says Shane, peering at Rob in wonder. “It’s you.”

Rob’s smile fades as he hears the words he’s been dreading for 21 years. It feels strangely unreal, now it’s happening.

”It’s you,” Shane repeats, unbelievably smiling, as Rob steps back, shaking his head.

”You’ve got it wrong,” Rob says, hearing the panic in his own voice. Shane is reaching for him and a forgotten memory flashes through Rob’s mind, a younger Shane reaching for Adam as he clings to the tree, _Little boy! Little boy!_

”So frightened for you, Adam,” Shane is saying and Rob feels a rush of rage stronger than he’s ever felt before.

”No,” he shouts, pushing Shane away from him and knocking him to the ground. “No.” He kicks Shane recklessly in the stomach and likes how it feels.

”Adam,” Shane repeats, trying to get up and the rage takes over completely.

”You shut up.” He kicks Shane again. “Stop calling me that.” More kicks and punches. It’s all going to come out now, he’s going to lose his job, maybe even go to jail, the wolf is going to get him — and the sheer panic rising makes him even more angry.

Shane is covered in blood, he notices. He could go on kicking and punching him forever, until it dawns on him with cold logic that Shane will probably die if he does. For a moment he can’t remember why that would be a bad thing.

Showing restraint, he stops kicking Shane and leans down to pull the identifying jacket off the older man’s shoulders. Shane cowers from him as Rob says in his ear, “Fuck off and don’t come near me again.” He’s almost forgotten that he was the one who went looking for Shane. “Tell anyone and I’ll kill you.”

Shane nods and manages to get up, staggering in the other direction. Rob can hear his sobs ringing in his ears. He looks down at the jacket, at the blood on his hands, and feels nothing at all.


	83. Chapter 83

_”I watched her on the stand in that unfamiliar suit and thought of the soft hairs at the back of her neck, warm and smelling of the sun, and it seemed an impossible thing to me, it seemed the vastest and saddest miracle of my life: I touched her hair,_ _once.”_

_— Rob, In the Woods_

Cassie is trying to light a cigarette on the steps of the courthouse when she senses — or glimpses out of the corner of her eye — Rob behind her. He holds out his lighter and she takes it without looking at him. She lights the cigarette and passes the lighter back to him. He comes to stand at her side but doesn’t light up himself.

“You did well in there,” he says, like it’s a normal case, like it hasn’t been months since they last spoke to each other.

“I tried,” she says with a shrug. “It wasn’t enough. She’s got the jury wrapped around her finger.”

Rob winces, remembering how easily he had been taken in himself.

“Damien’s going down for a long time,” says Cassie on an exhale.

“He deserves it.”

“I know, but she shouldn’t get away with it.” Cassie finally turns to look at him. “You know he tried to kill himself, when he found out she was testifying against him?”

“There’s my faith in true love shattered.” He’s trying to be funny, but it comes out bitter.

“How are you, anyway?” she asks.

“Me?” He feels pathetically grateful for her asking. “Yeah, I’m fine. Still persona non grata, but at least I’m still in the job.”

She nods.

“How’s Domestic Violence?” he asks. There’s no point in pretending he doesn’t know where she works now.

“Oh, you know.” She shrugs. “A bit like Murder, except you have to actually talk to the victims.” He smiles. He thinks about asking after Sam, hoping she’ll tell him that they’ve split up and he’s gone back to Galway to be a sheep farmer, but decides not to push his luck.

“Maybe we can...” He stops, realising there’s no point in trying to sound casual. “Could we, perhaps, go for a coffee when all this is over? The trial, I mean.”

She looks at him carefully and some of his desperation must show in his eyes because she says simply, “Okay.”

One word, and the surge of joy nearly topples him. He nods, keeping his face neutral. “Okay.”

“I’d better get back to work.” She grounds out the cigarette. “See you. Freak.”

His smile nearly splits his face. “See you.”


	84. Chapter 84

“You don’t want to do this,” says Cassie soothingly. Rob keeps his eyes fixed on hers as the point of the needle presses against his throat.

“Shut up,” the young man — Wayne, in his early twenties — hisses. “Any closer, and I’ll fucking do it.”

“I’m not coming any closer.” Cassie sits down slowly, laying her gun on the filthy ground beside her. “See?”

“You shouldn’t have come here.” The man looks from Rob to Cassie as if not sure how he got here.

“Think about it,” says Cassie softly. “We’ve got nothing on you so far. Would you rather be arrested for possession of drugs? Or stabbing a member of the Gardaí? And if that needle is dirty, and Detective Reilly gets HIV or something—“ Rob refrains from closing his eyes. “That’s basically murder. You’ll go down for life.”

“I’m not a murderer,” Wayne whispers, his hand shaking.

“I know you’re not,” she says gently. “See this?” She lifts up her top to show the scar against her ribs. “The man who did this, he was just like you. Not a murderer, an addict, who got out of his depth.” This description doesn’t remotely resemble Johnstone, but the real story probably wouldn’t resonate with the wide-eyed junkie currently holding a syringe to her partner’s throat. “He was a petty criminal, and he got life in a high-security prison for the attempted murder of a police officer. In the end, he hanged himself. Do you want that to be you?”

“I just— need to think,” Wayne whispers.

“Let my friend go, and you can have all the thinking time you want. It’s not too late yet.”

Wayne lets go of Rob abruptly and the needle clatters to the floor. Cassie jumps up, grabbing her gun, and claps Rob on the shoulder before handcuffing Wayne.

“Thanks,” says Rob weakly as they walk to the car outside.

“Don’t mention it. You okay?”

“Fine. Impressive bullshit, back there.”

“Well, I’d sort of miss you if you got killed in the line of duty. I’d probably get stuck with Quigley or someone...”

They continue to trade quips as if Wayne isn’t there, until they get back to the station and Rob finally stops shaking.


	85. Chapter 85

“Adam?” Adam opens his eyes. His mother is standing by his hospital bed, looking tentatively at him. “There are some more policemen here to see you.”

The two men behind her aren’t wearing Garda uniforms, unlike the policemen who questioned him yesterday. They are both in smart suits instead. One of them is taller than the other. Adam looks blearily at them as they stand at his bedside.

“How are you, Adam?” asks the taller one. Adam nods, unsure of what to say.

“We’re detectives. Do you know what that means?” asks the other one, like Adam is some stupid kid.

“Yes,” Adam says, his voice coming out hoarse.

“We’re investigating what happened to your friends. We’re from the Murder department.”

“Murder?” says Adam’s father sharply, from where he’s sitting in the corner. “Why not Missing Persons?”

“With the amount of blood found, we're working on the assumption that this is a murder case,” says the taller detective. “We’d like to be proved wrong, of course. Anything Adam can tell us would be helpful.”

Adam wonders who is supposed to have been murdered. He remembers the blood in his shoes but can’t think what this has to do with Peter and Jamie.

“I can’t remember,” he says at last, realising that the detectives are waiting for him to speak.

“He doesn’t know anything,” says his father. “We’ve been asking him.”

The tall detective nods. “Could we maybe have a word outside, before we speak to Adam officially?” He’s addressing both of Adam’s parents.

Adam’s dad reluctantly stands up and follows the two men out of the small room, out of Adam’s earshot.

“We’ll be back in just a moment, Adam,” says his mother. She squeezes Adam’s hand and there’s a flicker of something like fear in her eyes before she turns and leaves him alone.


	86. Chapter 86

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Crossover with The Wych Elm. Double drabble.

Rob approaches the young man in the bed. Toby Hennessy has been beaten badly, and there are machines hooked to him, but it’s still obvious that Hennessy is — or was — good-looking. A tiny amount of drool comes out of the corner of his mouth as he stares blankly at Rob.

“Toby?” Rob says gently, letting some of the Dublin creep back into his voice. “It’s okay. I’m Detective Reilly. I’m just here to keep an eye on you while you recover, okay?” It’s unlikely that the burglars who attacked Hennessy will come back for him here, but they can’t be too careful. _This was probably personal_ , Rob’s boss had said. _Hennessy can tell us who has a grudge against him when he can talk._

Rob pulls up a plastic chair, not too close to Toby’s bed, and tries to look vaguely reassuring. The handsome man in the bed reminds Rob faintly of himself ten years ago, and the smell of the hospital reminds him of being in a room like this, years ago, after the woods. At one point Toby points somewhere to the side of Rob and mumbles _What’s that?_ but when Rob looks there’s nothing there.


	87. Chapter 87

“Where’s Peter? Where’s Jamie?” The tiny rocks keep hitting Adam as he stands on his doorstep.

”I don’t know,” he blurts, ducking. “I don’t know where they are.”

”Tell us the truth, you little freak!” The tallest boy there throws another rock. It hits Adam just above the eye.

“Hey!” Adam’s dad has seen what’s happening through the window and comes racing out of the front door. “Clear off, you little gobshites!”

Once the other kids have run off, some of them still making threatening gestures, Adam’s dad turns on his son. ”Will you not stand up for yourself, Adam?” he shouts. Adam hangs his head.

”It wasn’t my fault,” he whispers. “They think I know where Peter and Jamie are, but I don’t.”

His dad looks at where _Changeling_ is graffitied across the wall of their home. “I can’t take much more of this,” he mutters, more to himself than to Adam. Someone had tried to set fire to their house the other night. They’ve had bricks through the window and Jamie’s mother banging on their front door and now Adam can’t step outside to go to the shops without kids throwing things at him.

”Don’t tell your mother about this, alright?” his dad says. “She’s got enough to worry about.”

Adam nods. Maybe it _is_ all his fault. He thinks about running away, like he and Peter and Jamie had sometimes talked about doing, but he doesn’t think he can live in the woods now, not alone. He wipes the cut above his eye with trembling fingers and follows his dad back inside.


	88. Chapter 88

Rob opens his eyes woozily. There’s a familiar smell entwined with the scent of hospital, but he can’t place it. He turns his head to the side, expecting to see his mother. Instead, he find Cassie is sitting in the chair by his bed, looking mightily pissed off with him.

”You’re a fucking idiot, Rob,” she says, which is a nice way to talk to an invalid.

He coughs and reaches for the water at his bedside. “Nice to see you too.”

”I could kill you,” she says. He chuckles at the irony, nearly spilling his water.

”You’d probably make a better job of it.” When she doesn’t reply, he asks, “How did you know?”

”Your mum called me. She asked me to come and see you. She was in bits.”

”You didn’t hear it at work then,” he says, staring at the ceiling. “I expect it’s all round the Gardai by now.”

”You should have thought about that before you drove your car straight into a wall.” He doesn’t look at her. “ _Why_ , Rob?”

”What do you care?” He’s suddenly angry with her. “You said you never wanted to see me again.”

”What did you expect? You could just say sorry and we’d go for pizza? You were my best friend, Rob, and you treated me like shit.”

”I was protecting you!” he shouts. He wipes a tear away.

”From what?” Her voice has softened slightly.

”From me. From my curse.” He rubs his eyes. “I didn’t want anything to happen to you.”

She digests that. “It did, though. I killed a man. I lost my job on Murder. I had to—“ She breaks off. “You’re not the only one who’s suffered.”

”But you know what happened.” There are more tears falling. “I’m never going to know what happened to Peter and Jamie. That was the worst part, worse than losing my job and even losing you. It was realising that I’ll never fucking know.” He finally wipes his face.

”That’s no reason to pass the grief onto me and your mam.” There are tears in her eyes, too, but her face is resolved.

”I knew you’d be alright. You’ve got Sam.”

“But I need _you_.” One of the tears spills down her face. He reaches for her hand and she squeezes his in return.

”I’m sorry,” he says.

“Yeah, me too.” She smiles at him.

”Please stay.”

She nods. Rob lets his eyes close again as Cassie runs her thumb over the palm of his hand. “I missed you, Cass,” he mumbles as he drifts into sleep.

When he opens his eyes again, some hours must have passed. The room is dark again and the chair beside his bed is empty. He’s about to curse his own vivid imagination when he feels something stir at the end of his bed and Cassie sits up, rubbing her eyes. “Hi,” she says.

He smiles. “Hello.”


	89. Chapter 89

Cassie stares at the pregnancy test in her hand. The green tick seems to be taunting her. _Shit_.

How could she have been so stupid? All this time she’s been silently judging Lexie for being dumb enough to get pregnant, speculating with Frank over which of her housemates is the father like it’s some kind of parlour game. Turns out the joke’s on Cassie.

She knows it’s not Sam’s baby. She remembers the pregnancy test she did the day Lexie was found. It had come back negative like she knew it would, in spite of her ridiculous superstitious twin feeling. She wasn’t pregnant then, and anyway she’s been on the pill for months. But with all the drama over discovering Lexie’s body, she’d forgotten to take it that day.

 _Rob_. Cassie closes her eyes, trying to imagine his reaction if she told him. He’d think she was trying to trap him, and she would have to hit him again. She hadn’t even thought about it that night, they’d been so caught up in the passion and emotion, contraception had been the last thing on her mind.

She opens her eyes and looks at the test again, as if the green tick might have disappeared. It hasn’t.

What the fuck is she going to do?

There’s a tap at the door and the sound of Abby’s cheerful voice, calling to Lexie, saying something about Rafe’s punch.

“Be there in a sec!” Cassie calls. Her voice comes out choked. Apparently she sounds normal enough that Abby leaves her alone.

Cassie looks at herself in the mirror. Lexie looks back, almost laughing at her.

Unsteadily, she opens the bathroom door and begins to wind her way down the staircase. She knows what Lexie would do in this situation, what she probably did do.

She needs to get drunk.


	90. Chapter 90

It’s been two weeks since the kids disappeared. Jonathan, Cathal and Shane haven’t been back to the woods since. They hang out on a street corner instead, smoking and drinking cider out of cans.

“We should just tell the police the truth,“ says Shane nervously, glancing at the ‘Missing’ poster on the wall.

“Are you fucking stupid?” snarls Cathal. “Don’t answer that.”

“We didn’t do anything,” says Shane. “Not to the kids. We can just tell them we found Adam—“

“So we tell the guards that we were in the woods late at night, waiting for the three kids to come out so we could beat the living shite out of them, but we never actually touched them, honest, and you think they’ll believe us?” Cathal summarises.

“Adam can back us up,” says Shane.

“According to the papers, Adam doesn’t have a clue what happened. He’s fucked in the head. He hasn’t said anything about us yet, or they would have come for us.”

“What if he does tell them that we found him? Then the police will want to know why we didn’t tell them.”

“Why would they believe a messed-up ten-year-old over us?”

“He’s 12,” says Jonathan suddenly. He’s looking at his cigarette, not at his friends. “And he could tell them all sorts. About how you were leching at Jamie, and about Sandra—“

“Shut the fuck up,” hisses Cathal and Jonathan stops talking. “Anything he says, we can just deny it. It’s his word against the three of us.”

“What about Sandra?” asks Jonathan. “What if she tells them?”

“What, that she banged both of us in the woods?” sneers Cathal. “That was hours before the kids went missing. She was long gone by then.”

“He means the rape,” says Shane. “What if Sandra tells them about the rape? About the kids seeing?”

Cathal grabs Shane by the throat. “What the _fuck_ did you say?” Shane goes pale and says nothing.

“I don’t wanna hear that word from you again, alright?” Cathal releases Shane. “As for Sandra, no one’ll believe a word that comes out of her whore mouth.”

Jonathan doesn’t say anything. He takes a drag on his cigarette.

“What we need,” says Cathal, calming down. “Is an alibi.”

“We already told the cops we went to the cinema.” Jonathan drops his cigarette and grinds it out.

“We need someone to confirm that we were there,” says Cathal.

“How are we gonna do that, seeing as we weren’t actually there?” Jonathan snaps. Shane looks even more scared.

“I’ll think of something.” Cathal gives Jonathan a cocky smile. Jonathan shakes his head and opens another can of cider. Shane looks at the Missing poster again and gives an involuntary shudder.


	91. Chapter 91

As promised, they meet for a coffee a week after Rosalind’s trial ends. Cassie wraps her hands around her steaming mug as Rob sips at a latte.

”I’ve been having counselling,” he says at last. “Part of the deal of keeping my job. I’m saying all the right things, about how I want to move forward instead of looking back...”

”There’s probably something in that,” she says.

”Yeah.” He looks at her intently and she has to stop herself looking away. “I am sorry, you know, for everything.”

”I know you are. And I forgive you.”

He shakes his head. “You lost your job in Murder because of me. I should never have told you anything. And then... I fucked up everything. With us.”

”It wasn’t just you,” she says. “I don’t blame you, for anything that happened.” She really means it.

”Are you happy?” he asks. “With your new job? And Sam?”

”Yeah.” She nods. “He’s a good man. I love him.”

”I know.” Rob manages not to look too pained.

”We’ll have to find you a nice young one to settle down with.” Cassie smiles at him.

”I did go on a few dates with Sophie, after she helped me nail Damien.”

” _Sophie_?” Cassie leans forward. “I thought she was gay?”

“She swings both ways. I suggested a threesome but she wasn’t interested. Joke,” he adds as Cassie throws her napkin at him. “She said she was, and I quote: ‘Old enough to know the difference between intriguing and fucked up’.”

Cassir snorts and takes a sip of her coffee. “Sounds about right.” She realises that she hasn’t felt this light for months.

”I’ve missed you,” he says, smiling across at her.

She nods. “I’ve missed you, too.”


	92. Chapter 92

Journalists are pounding on the front door, shouting “Adam! Adam!” through the letterbox. Cards land on the doormat, with phone numbers and begging requests for his story. Rob stands by the window, looking out at the crowd from behind the curtain.

He hears movement behind him and turns to see Cassie, hand over her baby bump, her other hand holding out a cup of tea. He takes it with both hands.

”Sorry,” he says quietly.

”Oh sweetheart, it’s not your fault.” She steps up to him and he kisses her lightly on the head, before carrying the cup over to the sofa.

“We might have to leave,” he says, settling down.

“And go where?” Cassie sits on the other side of the sofa and stretches her legs out across his lap.

”My mum’s, maybe?” He lifts her knee and gives it a quick kiss.

“And bring this to her doorstep?” Cassie gives him a sardonic look.

Rob knows she’s right. The press are so relentless, there is no escape from them. It feels like the first few months at boarding school where he couldn’t avoid his classmates, mocking his accent and pushing him down at every opportunity. For a while he couldn’t understand how the other boys could be so cruel, then he remembered Willie Little and how he, Peter and Jamie had tormented him for years. It had never occurred to him that they were being cruel, it had just been funny, and Willie deserved it for being so weird. _It’s not his fault_ , Jamie had said eventually. _We should leave him alone._ He and Peter had reluctantly agreed.

”They’ll get bored eventually,” says Cassie. “We just—“

Rob jumps to his feet at the sound of breaking glass. It takes a moment for his mind to fully register what just happened, until he sees the broken window and the brick lying on the carpet. With a surge of rage, he starts moving towards the front door.

”No, Rob, don’t.” Cassie is on her feet too, grabbing his arm. “Don’t go out there. It’s what they want.”

”That could have hit you. It could have hurt you or the baby—“

”But it didn’t.” Cassie is outwardly calm, although Rob can see she is shaken. “Let’s just clean this up.”

He watches her go to the kitchen, then picks up the brick, which has a note wrapped around it. He reads the message, then crumples the note and throws it out of the window.


	93. Chapter 93

The wolf is in Rob’s bedroom again. He sits up slowly, his heart sinking at the sight of the familiar pair of glowing yellow eyes. As the creature draws nearer, Rob swallows his fear.

He reaches out slowly to put his hand on the wolf’s head.

“Hello, boy. Have you come to find me?”

The wolf nods slowly.

“You’re a bit late. But that’s okay.”

The wolf gives a low, almost sorrowful growl. Rob lays back in his bed as the wolf pads over to the corner. Rob doesn’t hear the creature move again, but he can feel it watching over him, protecting him, as he slides back into sleep.


	94. Chapter 94

A week after his mother’s death, Rob puts an announcement in the paper with details of her funeral. _Clare Reilly, née Hogan, aged 53..._ He tells himself it’s so her old friends, who may not know that she changed her name, can come to the funeral. He knows that’s not the real reason, though.

On the day of the funeral he looks around the almost empty church. There are some people from the care home here, colleagues and relatives of patients. There’s nobody he recognises either from his mother’s old life in Dublin or from England. It hits him for the first time that Clare gave up her whole life to get Adam away from what had happened, and barely made any friends in the years that followed so his identity wouldn’t be exposed. And how had he repaid her?

Just as the service is about to begin, he hears the door open and close and he turns to see the familiar dark head entering. He lets out an exhale of relief. He’d been afraid that she wouldn’t come.

After the service, she walks right up to him and hugs him tightly, whispering in his ear, “Pub?”

He nods. “Whiskey.”


	95. Chapter 95

Clare walks into the cafe and sees Adam and Cassie sitting at their usual table. She knows it’s a risk, meeting Adam in public. It’s the first time she’s seen him in person since he texted her saying _The press knows. Lay low for a bit._ She’s been terrified ever since, that journalists would turn up where she works, putting on a brave face and carrying on as normal even with her son’s face splashed across the front pages next to black-and-white images of his younger self.

Cassie looks paler than usual, but she stands up to hug Clare. To her surprise, Adam gets up and hugs her too.

Once they’ve settled down, Adam looks around before saying, “There’s something we have to tell you,” and then he reaches for Cassie’s hand.

Clare smiles and tries to look like this is a huge surprise to her. Adam had said on the phone that he and Cassie were friends again, but she had suspected there was something he wasn’t telling her.

”We’re having a baby,” says Adam and smiles as he sees Clare’s reaction.

”Oh, my...” She claps her hands to her face and looks at Cassie, who flushes slightly and ducks her head. “That’s fantastic news. Are you okay? How far gone are you?”

”Just a few weeks,” says Cassie. “I know technically you’re supposed to wait three months before telling anyone, but we thought...”

”You could do with some good news.” Adam finishes her sentence. He and Cassie look at each other and Clare can feel the warmth radiating between them. Her little boy.

”I’m so happy for you,” says Clare, realising that there are tears spilling down her cheeks. Adam looks awkward as Cassie hands her a napkin.

”Are you alright?” Cassie asks her. “You’ve not been getting any hassle?”

”No.” Clare looks at Adam. “But I was thinking, now they know who you are. Maybe I should come forward, explain things...”

” _No_ ,” says Adam firmly. “That’s a terrible idea, Mum.”

” _Rob_ ,” says Cassie warningly. _Rob_. Clare had only given him that middle name at her husband’s behest and she’s never liked hearing it shortened. He’ll always be her little Adam.

Adam’s face softens as he glances at Cassie, then turns back to Clare. “The best thing to do is nothing. I’ve got my work disciplinary coming up, and then the Devlin trial, and the interest will die down.”

”But I want to see you. Help Cassie with her pregnancy. I don’t want to pretend not to know you. Not to know my grandchild.”

”You won’t have to,” says Cassie soothingly. “We’ll still see you as much as possible.”

When it’s time to go, Clare hugs Adam and then Cassie. “Look after him, won’t you?” she whispers in Cassie’s ear. Cassie squeezes her tightly in response.


	96. Chapter 96

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This drabble was inspired by a chapter by Thatkliqkid, with permission :) See the original here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/990982/chapters/65362015

_“_ **What** happened, Adam?”

 **If** he knew don’t they think he would tell them?

 **The** police are kind at first, but he can feel their growing impatience as he struggles to answer their questions.

They keep asking how Peter and Jamie were **killed**.

 **Are** they asking if he killed them?

 **The** second detective keeps saying how strange it is that Adam doesn’t have a scratch on him, although his shoes were covered in blood.

 **Lucky** Adam, spared, blessed, obviously watched over by someone or something, unlike his friends who were never seen again.

Gone under the hills with the old **ones**.


	97. Chapter 97

_I’m just so thankful to still be living._

Cassie smiles brightly and tells the occupational therapist what she wants to hear. She does what Frank told her to, sheds a tear when appropriate, but makes it clear that she’s recovering from the trauma of being stabbed and ready to go back to work.

She doesn’t tell the therapist that it was almost a relief when the knife slipped between her ribs, or about the utter disappointment she felt when she woke up in hospital, alive.

She doesn’t tell her that the only memory she has of her parents is of the night they died. That the only thing that saved her back then was her imagination, which eventually drove her aunt to despair and brought the priest to their door. How the other kids called her a freak when they cottoned on to her imaginary friend, and she’d learned to hit back, but in her head it was always Lexie doing the hitting. How she’d thought that growing up and becoming more attractive would make life easier, but being attractive came with its own set of dangers, as she’d discovered when she encountered a psychopath who set about destroying her because he couldn’t have her.

That it was easy to pretend to be someone else with Johnstone, because in a way she’d been doing that for most of her life.

She has girlfriends to go out drinking with, friends from Templemore, but no one who really knows her. She’s alone in a way no one else can understand, not even Frank who has his daughter to tether him to this world.

She passes the psych test and gets onto Murder.


	98. Chapter 98

“You’ll have to lose the English accent,” says Frank.

”I thought that would be a bonus,” says Rob. “No one would suspect an Englishman of being a Garda.”

”We don’t want anything about you to stand out,” explains Frank patiently. “You need to blend in. Can you do that?”

”Fine,” says Rob. “I can do Dublin.” He finds it easy enough to slip back into his native accent when necessary, for instance in a pub where he doesn’t want a glass to the back of the head.

”Tell me who you are again,” says Frank, for the millionth time.

”Robert Delaney, here with my beautiful wife, Cassandra.” Rob looks at Cassie, who smiles and holds up her ring finger, now bearing two rings, one with a huge sparkler.

”Rather you than me,” says Frank. Cassie shows him her other finger.

They go over their undercover identities one more time. They will be a married couple attending an auction to bid for some stolen diamonds. It sounds more glamorous than their usual line of work, but the people they are hoping to buy from are very dangerous.

”Just make the deal and get out,” Frank instructs them. “Undercover will do the rest.”

”So Frankie gets all the glory,” Rob grumbles as he and Cassie walk to her car.

”Cheer up,” says Cassie. “You get to be married to me for the next 24 hours.”

”I’m depressed enough, Cass.”

Cassie drives them to the hotel where the auction is taking place. They are booked in under their false names. Frank thought it was a nice touch for them to stay in the hotel the night before the auction, adding a dash of authenticity to the proceedings.

The hotel room is luxurious, spacious, with a comfortable looking double bed. Unfortunately the mini-bar is off limits. They decide to get an early night ready for the big day tomorrow.

Cassie changes in the en suite bathroom and comes out wearing fluffy pyjamas. Rob goes in next to get changed and when he comes out Cassie is already tucked up in the bed. They’ve slept in close quarters before, but something about climbing into bed here feels different. “I can sleep on the floor,” says Rob. “Pretend we’ve had a row.”

”We could make that a reality.” Cassie rolls her eyes. “Get into bed, Rob.”

Rob gets into bed and turns out the lights using the switches above his head. Cassie falls asleep on her side, one arm flung out across the bed. Rob ends up tossing and turning, in spite of how comfortable the bed is. He can’t remember if he’s always been an insomniac, or if it started after the incident in the woods. For a while after the disappearances he would sleepwalk. His mother had once found him digging up the back garden while fast asleep, and he couldn’t explain why.

”Are you awake?” he whispers finally. Cassie doesn’t reply, so he turns over onto his other side and closes his eyes.


	99. Chapter 99

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternative version of a scene from episode four where Rob behaves like a normal person for once.

Rob stares at the contents of the bag of rubbish, now spread out across the table. Empty crisp packets, old Pokemon cards, a collection of chewed dog toys. Damien Donnelly must be taking the piss. He starts sorting the stuff into piles anyway, anything to stop thinking about Cassie and what they did last night. About how he’s ruined the only close friendship he has and Cassie will either hate him or expect some kind of commitment now.

He hears the doors to the basement creak open and Cassie’s familiar footsteps. He doesn’t look round.

“Hey,” says Cassie. It sounds like a question. Rob, still going through the rubbish, doesn’t reply. Cassie approaches and gently puts a casual hand on his back. He manages to stop himself from flinching as memories from last night flash through his brain. “Anything?” She moves her hand away.

“I asked Damien to bring in anything else they found in the woods,” he says, meeting Cassie’s eyes, his voice surprisingly normal. “He took it literally.”

Cassie nods. “Want some help going through all this?”

“Nah.” He shrugs. “It’s crap, mostly. Not worth both our time.”

“Okay.” She averts her eyes awkwardly. “I’ll just...” She turns to head back upstairs.

“Cass,” he says, thinking they may as well get this over with. She’ll want to know why he left before she woke up this morning.

“It’s okay, Rob.” She smiles brightly at him. “We’re fine.”

He lets out a long breath of relief, then nods and smiles back. “See you upstairs.”


	100. Chapter 100

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternative, happier scene from the finale. Drabble and a half.

Rob is still sitting in the basement when Cassie returns from O’Kelly’s room. “What happened?” he asks.

“I’m being transferred to DV.” Cassie’s face is set.

“I’m sorry.” Rob stands up. “Because of me?”

“No, he can’t prove I knew anything about you. It’s more to do with what happened with Daniel. I’m on compassionate leave now anyway.”

“Did you tell him about...” Rob nods awkwardly at Cassie’s stomach.

“Yeah, I thought I’d give him a heart attack as a parting gift.” Cassie rolls her eyes and Rob smiles in spite of himself. “No, you’re the only person I’ve told. Daddy.”

He shakes his head in wonder. “You know, whatever happens to me at my hearing, I can live with it.”

“Come here.” She pulls him into an embrace and he inhales the scent of her hair.

“So what now?” he asks, when she draws back.

“Now, we go home.”


	101. Chapter 101

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on a scene in episode six. Some dark/sexual content ahead.

Heather is moaning loudly in Rob’s ear. He wishes she would stop, it makes it harder to pretend that she’s someone else. It’s the same noise she makes whenever she’s in her bedroom with her latest beau, exaggerated cries of ecstasy designed to make Rob jealous. He has no idea if her responses now are genuine, maybe she doesn’t know either.

Yet if he closes his eyes he can forget he’s out by the bins next to a seedy nightclub, can pretend he’s still in Cassie’s bedroom with her beautiful face in his hands, smiling at him like he’s not a broken, damaged, _thing_.

He keeps up a steady rhythm with Heather as the memories flash through his brain. Cassie, kissing his shoulders. Cassie, burying her face in his neck. Their noses brushing as they kissed, his hands in her hair, her whispering his name against his cheek—

Then another memory intrudes, of Sandra in the woods, sobbing and begging for Jonathan to stop what was happening as her tights got ripped. He and Peter and Jamie had just _watched_ , Adam not really understanding what was happening but knowing it was to do with that thing his parents must have done, that they all talked about at school. Somehow he hadn’t imagined that it would be like what he was witnessing now.

He can see Jamie’s stricken face as they had turned to each other, then to Peter, the leader, knowing that they had been _seen_. They had ran. Straight into the clutches of—

Suddenly his neck spasms and he lets go of Heather without thinking, doubling over in pain. He staggers against one of the bins, clutching at the wall. He can hear Heather yelling at him — he must have dropped her quite hard — telling him not to come home. _Call an ambulance_ , he wants to say, but he can’t speak. Heather is straightening her clothes and walking away. Swaying on his feet, he staggers back towards the nightclub, looking for help.


End file.
